I'm doing ok. Whew the rollercoaster is something
else. Just when I resign myself that Ken won't live long, and the pain in
horrendous, he rallies and I look forward again. Then while I'm looking
forward he is falling asleep and/or removing his oxygen and balling the tubes up
in his hands and when I ask what he's doing he appears to be totally
dumbfounded. I rushed and turned up his oxygen after first questioning
myself whether or not I had overdosed him on pain pills, and he pulled out of it
with the oxygen at a higher concentration. That was two days ago.
Right now he seems fine, except for the pain he constantly battles.
Our wonderful family is coming in everyday from 4 to 8 hours
while I work, then I stay with him all night and all weekends. Just about
the time I think we're overdoing his care something like the oxygen incident
reminds us we cannot be too diligent. I do know that we will not
stop fighting until his very last breath, and I will let go only when I know it
is too much for him to bear. We have a physical therapist coming in three
times a week and he feels real good about that and much strengthened. We
only had one visit from the nurse that helps him to cope, and coming to the end
of the three weeks that Visiting Nurses has allotted us. They don't do
anything more than we do, except give us pointers and double check that his
vitals are ok.
Thank you for your interest, sometimes I get so lost I don't
know which way is forward and it helps for someone to stop me and as what's
up.
