Re: [MOL] Fwd: Kids Comments :) [01241] Medicine On Line


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Re: [MOL] Fwd: Kids Comments :)



Very hillaryus!!! LOL   Thanks for sending....Beav

CCRosati@aol.com wrote:

>
>
>    -----------------------------------------------------
>
> Subject: Catholic Kids Comments
> Date: Mon, 27 Nov 2000 13:43:34 -0500
> From: Starfire33 <starfire@eclipse.net>
> To: *CCR <CCRosati@aol.com>
>
> This comes from a Catholic elementary school. Kids were
> asked
>
> questions about the Old and New Testaments. The following
> statements
>
> about the Bible were written by children. They have not
> been retouched
>
> or corrected (i.e., incorrect spelling has been left in.)
>
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> In the first book of the bible,
>
> Guinessis, God got
> tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath
> off.
>
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Adam and Eve were created from an
>
> apple tree. Noah's
> wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which
> the
>
> animals come on to in pears.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Lot's
>
> wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of
> fire by night.
>
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> The Jews were a proud people and
>
> throughout history
> they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.
>
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Samson was a strongman who let
>
> himself be led astray
> by a Jezebel like Delilah.
>
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Samson slayed the Philistines with
>
> the axe of the
> Apostles.
>  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!
>
>  ~~
> Moses led the hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made
> unleavened bread
>
> which is bread without any
> ingredients.
>
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> The Egyptians were all drowned in
>
> the dessert.
> Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the
> ten
>
> ammendments.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> The first commandment
>
> was when Eve told adam to eat
> the apple.
>
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> The seventh commandment is thou
>
> shalt not admit
> adultery.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Moses died
>
> before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua
> led the hebrews in the battle of
>
> Geritol.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> The greatest miracle in
>
> the Bible is when Joshua told
> his son to stand still and he obeyed him.
>
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> David was a hebrew king skilled at
>
> playing the liar.
> he fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people who
> liv!
>
>  ed in Biblical times.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Solomon, one
>
> of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700
> porcupines.
>
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> When Mary heard that she was the
>
> mother of Jesus, she
> sang the Magna Carta.
>
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> When the three wise guys from the
>
> east side arrived,
> they found Jesus in the manager.
>
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Jesus was born because Mary had an
>
> immaculate
> contraption.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> St. John the
>
> blacksmith dumped water on his head.
>
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule,
>
> which says to do one
> to others before they do one to you. He also
> explained, "a
>
> man doth not live by sweat
> alone."
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>
> It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and
> managed to get the
>
> tombstone off the entrance.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> The
>
> people who followed the lor!
>
>  d were called the 12
> decibels.
>  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> The
>
> epistles were the wives of the apostles.
>
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> One of the oppossums was St.
>
> Matthew who was also a
> taximan.
>  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> St.
>
> Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy
> acrimony, which is another
>
> name for marriage.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Christians have
>
> only one spouse. This is called monotony.
>
>
>
>



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