[MOL] Fwd: Kids Comments :) [01200] Medicine On Line


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[MOL] Fwd: Kids Comments :)



 

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This comes from a Catholic elementary school. Kids were asked

questions about the Old and New Testaments. The following statements
about the Bible were written by children. They have not been retouched
or corrected (i.e., incorrect spelling has been left in.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the first book of the bible,
Guinessis, God got
tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath
off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adam and Eve were created from an
apple tree. Noah's
wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which
the
animals come on to in pears.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lot's
wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of
fire by night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Jews were a proud people and
throughout history
they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Samson was a strongman who let
himself be led astray
by a Jezebel like Delilah.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Samson slayed the Philistines with
the axe of the
Apostles.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!
~~
Moses led the hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made
unleavened bread
which is bread without any
ingredients.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Egyptians were all drowned in
the dessert.
Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the
ten
ammendments.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The first commandment
was when Eve told adam to eat
the apple.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The seventh commandment is thou
shalt not admit
adultery.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Moses died
before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua
led the hebrews in the battle of
Geritol.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The greatest miracle in
the Bible is when Joshua told
his son to stand still and he obeyed him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
David was a hebrew king skilled at
playing the liar.
he fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people who
liv!
ed in Biblical times.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Solomon, one
of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700
porcupines.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When Mary heard that she was the
mother of Jesus, she
sang the Magna Carta.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When the three wise guys from the
east side arrived,
they found Jesus in the manager.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jesus was born because Mary had an
immaculate
contraption.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
St. John the
blacksmith dumped water on his head.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule,
which says to do one
to others before they do one to you. He also
explained, "a
man doth not live by sweat
alone."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and
managed to get the
tombstone off the entrance.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The
people who followed the lor!
d were called the 12
decibels.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The
epistles were the wives of the apostles.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One of the oppossums was St.
Matthew who was also a
taximan.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
St.
Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy
acrimony, which is another
name for marriage.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Christians have
only one spouse. This is called monotony.







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