Re: [MOL] Fwd: Memo (Joke) [01158] Medicine On Line


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Re: [MOL] Fwd: Memo (Joke)



Dear Chris,

that was very special and cute. Thank you. Made the beginning of our
sunny day.

God Bless You,
marty auslander

CCR417@aol.com wrote:
> 
>     ---------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> Subject: Fwd: Memo
> Date: Sun, 26 Nov 2000 11:27:19 -0500 (EST)
> From: SGALLICK@webtv.net (Sue Gallick)
> To: RAUBS@AOL.COM, CCR417@aol.com, JAMESJJAMESD@CS.COM, TREATBOY72@AOL.COM,
>      RAMADACUTIE@AOL.COM, KAP557@AOL.COM, glily@epix.net, KLYNN90@AOL.COM,
>      puttenhead@webtv.net, CALLMAW@DIGITAL-LINK.NET, GodetRump@aol.com,
>      sue@NYCVP.com, NGallick@aol.com, Nimanitz@hotmail.com,
>      PMcGee@genbrew.com, RAYPOD@EPIX.NET, SARAANDANGI@webtv.net,
>      BAWARMAN90@AOL.COM
> 
>     ---------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> Subject: Memo
> Date: Sun, 26 Nov 2000 09:51:09 EST
> From: JSFried21@aol.com
> To: BBIROS@aol.com, Dbkuz@aol.com, BevBren@epix.net, sgallick@webtv.net,
>      RJ311MP@aol.com, LPOrseck@aol.com, MrsP1122@aol.com, WP1016@aol.com,
>      SLPWBAEA@aol.com, lxs46@psu.edu, StageMom@aol.com,
>      OreoKing@nabisco.com, frankie.warren@citcomm.com
> 
> In a message dated 11/24/2000 8:12:09 PM Eastern Standard Time,
> JSFried
> writes:
> 
> > FROM: Pat Smith, Human Resources Director
> > >> TO: Everyone
> > >> RE: Christmas Party
> > >> DATE: December 1
> > >>
> > >> I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will
> > take place
> > >> on December 23, starting at noon in the banquet room at Luigi's
> > Open Pit
> > >> Barbecue. There will be plenty of eggnog! We'll have a small band
> > playing
> > >> traditional carols ... feel free to sing along. And don't be
> > surprised if
> > >> our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!
> > >>
> > >> ========================================
> > >>
> > >> FROM: Pat Smith, Human Resources Director
> > >> TO: Everyone
> > >> DATE: December 2
> > >> RE: Christmas Party
> > >>
> > >> In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish
> > employees.
> > >> We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday which often
> > coincides
> > >> with Christmas. So from now on, we're calling it our "Holiday
> > Party." The
> > >> same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at
> > this
> > >> time. Everybody happy now?
> > >>
> > >> ========================================
> > >>
> > >> FROM: Pat Smith, Human Resources Director
> > >> TO: Everyone
> > >> DATE: December 3
> > >> RE: Holiday Party
> > >>
> > >> Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics
> > Anonymous
> > >> requesting a non-drinking table ... you didn't sign your name.
> > I'm happy
> > >> to accommodate this request. But if I put a sign on a table that
> > reads,
> > >> "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed
> > to handle
> > >> this? Somebody?
> > >>
> > >> ========================================
> > >>
> > >> FROM: Pat Smith, Human Resources Director
> > >> TO: Everyone
> > >> DATE: December 7
> > >> RE: Holiday Party
> > >>
> > >> What a diverse company we are! I had no idea that December 20
> > begins the
> > >> Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking
> > during
> > >> daylight hours. We can appreciate how a luncheon this time of
> > year does
> > >> not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps Luigi's
> > can hold
> > >> off on serving your meal until the end of the party - the days
> > are so
> > >> short this time of year - or else package everything for
> > take-home in
> > >> little foil swans. Will that work? Meanwhile, I've arranged for
> > members
> > >> of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet
> > and
> > >> pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms. Did I
> > miss
> > >> anything?
> > >>
> > >> ========================================
> > >>
> > >> FROM: Pat Smith, Human Resources Director
> > >> TO: Everyone
> > >> DATE: December 8
> > >> RE: Holiday Party
> > >>
> > >> So December 22 marks the Winter Solstice ... what do you expect
> > me to do,
> > >> a tap-dance on your heads? Fire regulations at Luigi's prohibit
> > the
> > >> burning of sage by our "earth-based goddess-worshiping"
> > employees, but
> > >> we'll try to accommodate your shamanic drumming circle during the
> > band's
> > >> breaks. Okay???
> > >>
> > >> ========================================
> > >>
> > >> FROM: Pat Smith, Human Resources Director
> > >> TO: Everyone
> > >> Date: December 9
> > >> RE: Holiday Party
> > >>
> > >> People, people, nothing sinister was intended by having our CEO
> > dress up
> > >> like Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to
> > be
> > >> "Satan," there is no evil connotation to our own "little man in a
> > red
> > >> suit." It's a tradition, folks, like sugar shock at Halloween or
> > family
> > >> feuds over the Thanksgiving turkey or broken hearts on
> > Valentine's Day.
> > >> Could we lighten up?
> > >>
> > >> ========================================
> > >>
> > >> FROM: Pat Smith, Human Resources Director
> > >> TO: Everyone
> > >> DATE: December 10
> > >> RE: Holiday Party
> > >>
> > >> Vegetarians!?!?!? I've had it with you people!!! We're going to
> > keep this
> > >> party at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue whether you like it or not, so
> > you can
> > >> sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as
> > you so
> > >> quaintly put it, and you'll get your stupid salad bar, including
> > >> hydroponic tomatoes ... but you know, they have feelings, too.
> > Tomatoes
> > >> scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream, I'm hearing
> > them
> > >> scream right now!
> > >>
> > >> ========================================
> > >>
> > >> FROM: Karen Jones, Acting Human Resources Director
> > >> TO: Everyone
> > >> DATE: December 14
> > >> RE: Pat Lewis and Holiday Party
> > >>
> > >> I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pat Smith a speedy
> > recovery
> > >> from her stress-related illness and I'll continue to forward your
> > cards
> > >> to her at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management has decided
> > to
> > >> cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the
> > 23rd off
> > >> with full pay.
> > >>
> >
> 
>     ---------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> Subject: Fwd: [Fwd: memo from human resources]
> Date: Fri, 24 Nov 2000 20:12:09 EST
> From: HBMcKeown@aol.com
> To: Sallyc@usnetway.com, BevBren@epix.net, SBrandreth@aol.com, MC-JC@webtv.net,
>      JSFried21@aol.com, SiameseSam@aol.com, TLeverett1@aol.com,
>      jelaine@intergrafix.net, Kelbishop@aol.com
> 
> 
> 
>     ---------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> Subject: Fwd: [Fwd: memo from human resources]
> Date: Wed, 22 Nov 2000 21:44:34 EST
> From: Jodrayer@aol.com
> To: tweetdy4@hotmail.com, JJwcasey@aol.com, rene.casey@genuardis.com,
>      aimee@organic.com, patricia.kimble@lvh.com, DeadSerious@aol.com,
>      HBMcKeown@aol.com, kennyp@avi.com, Kathywega@aol.com
> 
> 
> 
>     ---------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> Subject: [Fwd: memo from human resources]
> Date: Wed, 22 Nov 2000 21:35:30 -0500
> From: Mary Kratz <kratz@epix.net>
> To: Joanne Drayer <Jodrayer@aol.com>
> 
> 
> 
>     ---------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> Subject: memo from human resources
> Date: Wed, 22 Nov 2000 17:54:05 -0500
> From: Phyllis Wescott <jadin@microserve.net>
> To: c.milazzo@worldnet.att.net, lmorriss@ix.netcom.com, Magain@aol.com
> 
> >
> >
> >FROM: Pat Smith, Human Resources Director
> >> TO: Everyone
> >> RE: Christmas Party
> >> DATE: December 1
> >>
> >> I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take
> place
> >> on December 23, starting at noon in the banquet room at Luigi's
> Open Pit
> >> Barbecue. There will be plenty of eggnog! We'll have a small band
> playing
> >> traditional carols ... feel free to sing along. And don't be
> surprised if
> >> our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!
> >>
> >> ========================================
> >>
> >> FROM: Pat Smith, Human Resources Director
> >> TO: Everyone
> >> DATE: December 2
> >> RE: Christmas Party
> >>
> >> In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish
> employees.
> >> We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday which often
> coincides
> >> with Christmas. So from now on, we're calling it our "Holiday
> Party." The
> >> same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at
> this
> >> time. Everybody happy now?
> >>
> >> ========================================
> >>
> >> FROM: Pat Smith, Human Resources Director
> >> TO: Everyone
> >> DATE: December 3
> >> RE: Holiday Party
> >>
> >> Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous
> >> requesting a non-drinking table ... you didn't sign your name. I'm
> happy
> >> to accommodate this request. But if I put a sign on a table that
> reads,
> >> "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to
> handle
> >> this? Somebody?
> >>
> >> ========================================
> >>
> >> FROM: Pat Smith, Human Resources Director
> >> TO: Everyone
> >> DATE: December 7
> >> RE: Holiday Party
> >>
> >> What a diverse company we are! I had no idea that December 20
> begins the
> >> Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking
> during
> >> daylight hours. We can appreciate how a luncheon this time of year
> does
> >> not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps Luigi's can
> hold
> >> off on serving your meal until the end of the party - the days are
> so
> >> short this time of year - or else package everything for take-home
> in
> >> little foil swans. Will that work? Meanwhile, I've arranged for
> members
> >> of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and
> >> pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms. Did I
> miss
> >> anything?
> >>
> >> ========================================
> >>
> >> FROM: Pat Smith, Human Resources Director
> >> TO: Everyone
> >> DATE: December 8
> >> RE: Holiday Party
> >>
> >> So December 22 marks the Winter Solstice ... what do you expect me
> to do,
> >> a tap-dance on your heads? Fire regulations at Luigi's prohibit the
> >> burning of sage by our "earth-based goddess-worshiping" employees,
> but
> >> we'll try to accommodate your shamanic drumming circle during the
> band's
> >> breaks. Okay???
> >>
> >> ========================================
> >>
> >> FROM: Pat Smith, Human Resources Director
> >> TO: Everyone
> >> Date: December 9
> >> RE: Holiday Party
> >>
> >> People, people, nothing sinister was intended by having our CEO
> dress up
> >> like Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to be
> >> "Satan," there is no evil connotation to our own "little man in a
> red
> >> suit." It's a tradition, folks, like sugar shock at Halloween or
> family
> >> feuds over the Thanksgiving turkey or broken hearts on Valentine's
> Day.
> >> Could we lighten up?
> >>
> >> ========================================
> >>
> >> FROM: Pat Smith, Human Resources Director
> >> TO: Everyone
> >> DATE: December 10
> >> RE: Holiday Party
> >>
> >> Vegetarians!?!?!? I've had it with you people!!! We're going to
> keep this
> >> party at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue whether you like it or not, so
> you can
> >> sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you
> so
> >> quaintly put it, and you'll get your stupid salad bar, including
> >> hydroponic tomatoes ... but you know, they have feelings, too.
> Tomatoes
> >> scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream, I'm hearing
> them
> >> scream right now!
> >>
> >> ========================================
> >>
> >> FROM: Karen Jones, Acting Human Resources Director
> >> TO: Everyone
> >> DATE: December 14
> >> RE: Pat Lewis and Holiday Party
> >>
> >> I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pat Smith a speedy
> recovery
> >> from her stress-related illness and I'll continue to forward your
> cards
> >> to her at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management has decided
> to
> >> cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the
> 23rd off
> >> with full pay.
> >>
> >> Happy Chanuk-Kwanzaa-Solsti-Rama-Mas
> >
> >
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