[MOL] Fwd: FW: Cute [00137] Medicine On Line

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[MOL] Fwd: FW: Cute


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Thought you might enjoy this.  

-----Original Message-----
From: Deb Carlson 
Sent: Tuesday, October 03, 2000 9:45 AM
To: Kristine Thomsen; Sarah Pollard; Jo Price; Carolyn Baldino
Subject: FW: Cute

I needed a smile -- this helped.

> "Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin.
> Hydrogin is gin and water."
> "When you breath, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire."
> "H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water."
> "To collect fumes of sulphur, hold down a deacon over a flame in a test
> tube."
> "When you smell an odourless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide."
> "Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free
> state."
> "Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars.
> "Blood flows down one leg and up the other."
> "Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then
> expectoration."
> "The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader."
> "Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead
> of the
> bull."
> "Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them
> perspire."
> "A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold."
> "Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas."
> "The body consists of three parts -the brainium, the borax and the
> abominable
> cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart
> and
> lungs,
> and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five -
> a, e,
> i, o and u."
> "Momentum: What you give a person when they are going away."
> "Planet: A body of earth surrounded by sky."
> "Rhubarb: a kind of celery gone bloodshot."
> Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives."
> "Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative
> or
> negative."
> "To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose."
> "For a nosebleed: put the nose much lower than the body until the heart
> stops."
> "For drowning: climb on top of the person and move up and down to make
> Artificial Perspiration."
> "For Fainting: Rub the person's chest or, if a lady, rub her arm above
> thehand
> instead. Or put the head between the knees of the nearest medical
> doctor."
> "For dog bite: put the dog away for several days. If he has not
> recovered, then kill it."
> "For asphyxiation: Apply artificial respiration until the patient is
> dead."
> "To prevent contraception: wear a condominium."
> "For head cold: use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your
> throat."
> "To keep milk from turning sour: keep it in the cow."
> "The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects."
> "The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana."
> "The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and
> the
> outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something
> to
> hitch meat to."
> "A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two
> molars, and eight cuspidors."
> "The tides are a fight between the Earth and Moon. All water tends
> towards
> the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a
> vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight."
> "A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the more extinct it
> is."
> "Equator: A managerie lion running around the earth through Africa."
> "Germinate: To become a naturalized German."
> "Liter: A nest of young puppies."E

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