> Quotes taken from actual Federal Employee Performance Evaluations:
>
> Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has
> started to dig.
>
> His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.
>
> I would not allow this employee to breed.
>
> This employee is really not so much of a has-been but more of a definite
> won't be.
>
> Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a trapped
> rat.
>
> When she opens her mouth, it seems its only to change feet.
>
> He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
>
> This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
>
> He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve
> them.
>
> This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
>
> This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better.
>
> Got a full six-pack but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.
>
> A gross ignoramus --- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
>
> He certainly takes long to make his pointless.
>
> He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier.
>
> I would like to go hunting with him sometime.
>
> He's been working with glue too much.
>
> He would argue with a signpost.
>
> He has a knack for making strangers immediately.
>
> He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.
>
> When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.
>
> If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one.
>
> A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
>
> A prime candidate for natural de-selection.
>
> Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
>
> Gates are down, lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
>
> Has two brains, one is lost and the other is looking for it.
>
> If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
>
> If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.
>
> If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the oceans.
>
> Its hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.
>
> One neuron short of a synapse.
>
> Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled.
>
> Takes him 1 ½ hours to watch 60 Minutes.
>
> The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
>
