Title: FW: What Mother Taught Us
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Friday, August 25, 2000 11:05 AM
Subject: FW: What Mother Taught Us
Thanks,
Lisa
Mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If you're
going to kill
each other, do it outside - I just
finished cleaning!"
My mother taught me RELIGION
-
"You better pray that will come out of the
carpet."
My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the
middle
of next week!"
My mother
taught me LOGIC:
"Because I said so, that's why."
My mother taught me FORESIGHT -
"Make
sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
My mother taught me IRONY -
"Keep laughing and
I'll give you something to cry about."
My mother taught
me about the science of OSMOSIS - "Shut your mouth and eat
your supper!"
My mother taught me about
CONTORTIONISM - "Will you look at the dirt on the
back
of your neck!"
My mother taught me about STAMINA -
"You'll sit there 'till all that
spinach
is finished."
My mother taught me about
WEATHER - "It looks as if a tornado swept through
your
room."
My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS
- "If I yelled because I
saw a meteor coming toward you,
would you listen then?"
My mother taught me about
HYPOCRISY -
"If I've told you once, I've told you a
million times - Don't
exaggerate!!!"
My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE - "I brought you into this
world,
and
I can take you
out."
My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION -
"Stop acting like your
father!"
My mother taught me about ENVY -
"There are
millions of less fortunate children in this world who
don't
have wonderful parents like you do!"
THANKS, MOM!
