[MOL] Fwd: Darwin Awards [00282] Medicine On Line

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[MOL] Fwd: Darwin Awards

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>From: SSgtAmmo@aol.com
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>Subject: Fwd: Darwin Awards
>Date: Mon, 28 Aug 2000 08:39:23 EDT

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Colorado Springs: A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and
demanded all the cash from the cash drawer.  After the cashier put the cash
in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the
counter on the shelf.  He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but
he refused, saying "I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he
was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe
him.  At this point the robber took his drivers license out of his wallet
and gave it to the clerk.  The clerk looked it over, and agreed that the man
was in fact over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag.  The robber then ran
from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and
gave them the name and address that he got off the license.  They arrested
the robber two hours later.


A woman reported her car stolen, and mentioned that there was a car phone in
t.  The policeman taking the report called the phone and told the guy that
answered that he had read the ad in the newspaper and wanted to buy the car.
They arranged to meet, and the thief was arrested.


San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into
the branch and wrote "this is a stickup. Put all your muny in this bag."
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to
worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police
before he reached the teller window.  So he left the Bank of America and
crossed the street to Wells Fargo.  After waiting a few minutes in line, he
handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller.  She read it and, surmising from
his spelling errors that he was not the brightest light in the harbor, told
him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a
Bank of America deposit slip. He would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo
deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.  Looking somewhat defeated, the
man said "OK" and left. The Wells Fargo Teller then called the police who
arrested the man a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line, back at
Bank of America.


>From England: A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap
that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car.  He later
received in the mail a ticket for 40 Pounds and a photo of his car. Instead
of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of 40 Pounds.  In
response, he received a letter from the police that contained another
picture ... of handcuffs.  The motorist then promptly sent the money for the


Drug possession defendant Christopher Jansen, on trial in March in Pontiac,
Michigan, said he had been searched without a warrant.  The prosecutor said
the officer didn't need a warrant because a "bulge" in Christopher's jacket
could have been a gun.  "Nonsense," said Christopher, who happened to be
wearing the same jacket that day in court.  He handed it over so the judge
could see it.  The judge discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket....and
laughed so hard he required a five minute recess to compose himself.


Oklahoma City: Dennis Newton was on trial in district court for the armed
robbery of a convenience store when he fired his lawyer.  Assistant District
Attorney Larry Jones said Newton, 47, was doing a fair job of defending
himself until the store manager testified that Newton was the robber. Newton
jumped up, accused the woman of lying and then said, "I should have blown
your (expletive) head off." The defendant paused, then quickly added, "If
I'd been the one that was there."  The jury took 20 minutes to convict
Newton and recommended a 30-year sentence.


Detroit: R. C.  Gaitlan, 21, walked up to two patrol officers who were
showing their squad car computer felon-location equipment to children in a
Detroit neighborhood.  When he asked how the system worked, the officer
asked him for identification.  Gaitlan gave them his drivers license, they
entered it into the computer, and moments later they arrested Gaitlan
because information on the screen showed Gaitlan was wanted for a
two-year-old armed robbery in St. Louis, Missouri.


Another from Detroit: A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop
nervously waving revolvers.  The first one shouted, "Nobody move!"  When his
partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.


A Charlotte, NC, man, having purchased a case of very rare, very expensive
cigars, insured them against fire (among other things).  Within a month,
having smoked his entire stockpile of cigars and without even having made
his first premium payment on the policy, the man filed a claim against the
insurance company.  In his claim, the man stated the cigars were lost "in a
series of small fires."  The insurance company refused to pay, citing the
obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.
The man sued.... and won.  In delivering the ruling the judge, agreeing that
the claim was  frivolous, stated nevertheless that the man held a policy
from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable
and also guaranteed that it would insure against fire, without defining
what it considered to be "unacceptable fire," and was obligated to pay the

Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process the insurance company
accepted the ruling and paid the man $15,000 for the rare cigars he lost in
"the fires."  After the man cashed the check, however, the company had him
arrested on 24 counts of arson.   With his own insurance claim and testimony
from the previous case being used against him, the man was convicted of
intentionally burning his insured property and sentenced to 24 months in
jail and a $24,000 fine.

Michael Cohen
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