Re: [MOL] Some wisdom - from Dave Barry [02220] Medicine On Line


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Re: [MOL] Some wisdom - from Dave Barry



Mr. Dave,

	I LOVED this.  I howled at #1.  Thanks for sending.  It gave me my laugh
for the morning.

Carol in Memphis


On Sun, 27 Aug 2000 09:54:42 EDT CCR417@aol.com writes:
> 19 THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME 50 YEARS TO LEARN
> by Dave Berry 
> 
> 1. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative 
> on the 
> same night. 
> 
> 2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human 
> race has not 
> achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word 
> would be 
> "meetings". 
> 
> 3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." 
> 
> 4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost 
> never want 
> you to share yours with them. 
> 
> 5. And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its 
> glories, 
> decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His 
> messenger, 
> a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle. 
> 
> 6. You should not confuse your career with your life. 
> 
> 7. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too 
> seriously.
> 
> 8. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one 
> individual 
> who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, 
> that 
> individual is crazy. 
> 
> 9. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. 
> 
> 10. Never lick a steak knife. 
> 
> 11. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie. 
> 
> 12. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip. 
> 
> 13. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and 
> compelling 
> reason why we observe daylight savings time. 
> 
> 14. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely 
> suggests that 
> you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging 
> from her 
> at that moment.
> 
> 15. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people 
> to make a 
> big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.
> 
> 16. "The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, 
> gender, 
> religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down 
> inside, we 
> ALL believe that we are above average drivers. 
> 
> 17. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to 
> annoy 
> people who are not in them. 
> 
> 18. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a 
> nice 
> person. 
> 
> 19. Your friends love you anyway. 
>
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