Re: [MOL] /DEBATE [02199] Medicine On Line


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Re: [MOL] /DEBATE



Unfortunately it is. I have or had a brother that was going to the same
counselor my younger sister was going to for incest trauma when we were kids. He
commited suicide and she no longer speaks to the rest of the family. Her
therapist was at his funeral and had that sister and youngest sister and the
therapist turn their backs to us whenever we would try to make eye contact and
communicate. It blew my mind away totally and all of places at his funeral. That
was in 1987 and I still have never spoken to her since, by her choosing I was to
go to her therapist she said or I wasn't her sister anymore. I hav'nt heard from
her since.. She blames us for it, especially my oldest brother who had nothing
to do with anything because he was in the service when we were all living at
home still. I had a good therapist but I found I have to keep on top of it
because they loose touch sometimes with what is going on with the whole family
not just the client.
    Good news with Sox!!!!!! Just a helpful hint. Before each bath you want to
make sure all tangles are out because the tangles will just get tighter if you
try to get them out after the bath. I think someone was wondering if they have a
noiseless clipper. They do but I have been away from grooming so long I can't
remember the name. They also have battery powered ones. Don't be afraid to ask a
groomer at petsmart what to buy, they will help you as long as they think you
are buying their products. I'm so proud of you that you went ahead and tried to
do him yourself. You'll learn as you go how to round his feet and finish him
with scissors and get more confident and giving him a trim across his eyes. When
you get really confident and he does too, you can actually hold one eye shut
that you're trimming so you don't cut eyelashes. They look adoreable with long
lashes. Although I'm sure he is adoreable no matter what!!!!!!!! If you need any
help at all I would love to help; There are alot of helpful hints that will save
you frustrations so don't be shy. It is so cool to help somebody and I don't
have to leave Bucky to do it!!  Your dog gone friend, Beav

Bridget Rambeau wrote:

> First of all, you're not going to believe this! I decided yesterday to try
> my hand at cutting the hair around Sox's face so that he could see better
> (and I could see those big brown eyes of his again). I sat on the floor with
> him, comb and scissors in hand, prepared for frustration and failure.
> Unbelievably, he just sat there and let me do what I wanted. I just did a
> bit the first time and gave him a treat when finished. Later on I did some
> more and he was just as good. Needless to say, I'm thrilled. I've decided
> I'll do all the grooming except for his ears and nails (they're black and
> you can't see the quick so I'm a little nervous). I'll let the Vet do those.
> He may not be the best groomed dog around but at least he won't be scarred
> for life from the trauma. Thanks for asking and thanks to everybody else as
> well for all your suggestions and support on this one. I think it gave me
> the confidence to try!
> As to the other, did you know that anybody can call themselves a councellor
> and hang out a sign? There's really no Gov't or Professional control over
> who does this. I couldn't believe this. Actually, my ex (a different ex) was
> a Social Worker but his area was policy research. When he was out of work
> though he started doing private councelling even though he'd had no specific
> training in this area. But there are those without even a degree or
> certificate of any kind who do this. No wonder everybody's so screwed up! Is
> it that way in the States or England?
> Your friend,
> Bridget
> PS: Sox sends his thanks along with a big, wet kiss for everyone.
>
> >From: beav76@uswest.net
> >Reply-To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com
> >To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com
> >Subject: Re: [MOL] /DEBATE
> >Date: Sat, 26 Aug 2000 06:23:13 -0700
> >
> >I totally agree Bridget, seems like therapists can screw things up pretty
> >fast.
> >I'm sure there are some good ones but for the most part and the experience
> >I
> >have had with therapists is they put a wedge between people instead of
> >helping
> >build a bond......a little old fashined friend too.....Beav  p.s. How's the
> >grooming coming along with sox???
> >
> >Bridget Rambeau wrote:
> >
> > > I too am saddened, Lillian. This I ism really touched home with me some
> > > years ago when my c/l husband of a year went to councilling as he was
> >having
> > > a real problem with committment. The things he had done before as a
> >courtesy
> > > became, in his perception, obligations. Although nothing had really
> >changed
> > > in terms of our feelings, he was withdrawing from me because he felt
> >he'd
> > > lost control over his decisions.  This was his explanation to me, in any
> > > case. We had started to discuss marriage and were anxious for the
> > > relationship to continue. We agreed he should seek councelling.
> > > When he'd come home after a session, we'd talk about it. I couldn't
> >believe
> > > what I was hearing yet I knew that it was the "modern" way of thinking.
> >His
> > > councellor told him that he had to stop focusing on the relationship and
> > > focus on himself. That it didn't matter what I wanted, he had to first
> > > satisfy himself. That he needed to be more selfish and less flexible. So
> >he
> > > did what the councellor suggested. Hence, he is my ex.
> > > I watched my parent's marriage for much of its 54 ys of life. I watched
> >them
> > > go thru financial hardships, periods of emotional turmoil, illness and
> > > death, yet never once was there any question of ending their marriage.
> >They
> > > accepted this as part of their lives together and dealt with each one
> >and
> > > moved on. I then saw them reach a point of contentment, total trust in
> >one
> > > another and the kind of love I still hope to find one day. I believe
> >this is
> > > what we need to go back to if we want our marriages to last. Just an
> > > opinion.
> > > Your, old fashioned at heart, friend,
> > > Bridget
> > >
> > > >From: "Lillian" <firefly@islc.net>
> > > >Reply-To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com
> > > >To: <mol-cancer@lists.meds.com>
> > > >Subject: Re: [MOL] /DEBATE
> > > >Date: Wed, 23 Aug 2000 11:20:31 -0700
> > > >
> > > >I am also saddened that we have become a I ism world.  We do what ever
> > > >pleases us and if we get caught we blame someone else.  Accepting
> > > >responsibility for our actions is a major element to keeping a society
> > > >together and even a healthier lifestyle. Lillian
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >We invite you to take a look at our Album.
> > > >www.angelfire.com/sc/molangels/index.html
> > > >
> > > >   ( Very informational, good tips, Molers pictures, art work and much
> > > >more....
> > > >
> > > >----- Original Message -----
> > > >From: "Pat Kimmi" <lumber2@rainbowtel.net>
> > > >To: <mol-cancer@lists.meds.com>
> > > >Sent: Wednesday, August 23, 2000 5:09 AM
> > > >Subject: Re: [MOL] Mr. Whipps/DEBATE
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > > David and Carol,
> > > > > I did not take offense at the  debate going on now. I do enjoy the
> > > >banter
> > > > > tht goes back and forth on here; laughter is good medicine.
> > > >However.....I
> > > >am
> > > > > saddened that our society as a whole seems to accept and promote
> >that
> > > >anyone
> > > > > is entitled to do whatever and even comes up with excuses  that
> > > >eliminates
> > > > > our responsibility for our actions. As a doting Grandma, I am
> >concerned
> > > > > about the message this sends to our young people.   End of my
> > > >contribution
> > > > > to the debate-I enjoy seeing others responses and beliefs about it.
> > > > > Daddy continues to do well although he is now losing his hair--by
> >the
> > > > > handful, he says. I told him he did good to not have lost it earlier
> >as
> > > >he
> > > > > has been on chemo since Feb. This higher dose makes for a "bad hair
> > > >day".
> > > > > (Considering it is shrinking cancer that makes for a good day) His
> >blood
> > > > > work last week was still in good range. God is Good.........  Pat
> > > >Kimmi-KS
> > > > >
> > > > > ----- Original Message -----
> > > > > From: Whipps, David <David.Whipps@equitas.co.uk>
> > > > > To: 'angel' <mol-cancer@meds.com>
> > > > > Sent: Wednesday, August 23, 2000 3:06 AM
> > > > > Subject: FW: [MOL] Mr. Whipps/DEBATE
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > > Pat,
> > > > > > I have to re-iterate this as well.  If it comes over nasty or
> >horrible
> > > >in
> > > > > > any e-mails I send, please please don't anyone take offence.  Most
> >is
> > > > > tongue
> > > > > > in cheek, (But I still believe my mating theory);-)
> > > > > >
> > > > > > -----Original Message-----
> > > > > > From: Carol Foulkes [mailto:crfoulkes@Juno.com]
> > > > > > Sent: 22 August 2000 21:57
> > > > > > To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com
> > > > > > Subject: Re: [MOL] Mr. Whipps/DEBATE
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Miss Pat,
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Of COURSE we want your 2 cents worth.  You, of course, are
> >relating
> > > > > > to
> > > > > > the spiritual and caring side of human nature.  You, being the
> >gentle
> > > >and
> > > > > > loving person you are, and having such strong beliefs in honor and
> > > > > > commitment, do not delve into the seamier side of a relationship.
> >No
> > > > > > doubt your parents' relationship was a walking example of all that
> >you
> > > > > > believe.  I sincerely think that's wonderful.  I hope you can
> >forgive
> > > >our
> > > > > > "debates" and simply relate to them in the humorous vein they were
> > > > > > intended.  Perhaps some food for thought will come out of them,
> >but
> > > > > > mostly we're just having fun.  Life is so complex, and at times so
> > > > > > painful, that it's great for some of us to shut it out and enjoy
> >the
> > > > > > moment for what it is - just dumb fun.  No offense meant.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Hugs to you and your dad,
> > > > > > Carol in Memphis
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > > On Tue, 22 Aug 2000 15:06:25 -0500 "Pat Kimmi"
> > > ><lumber2@rainbowtel.net>
> > > > > > writes:
> > > > > > > Mr. Whipps/DEBATEBOY Did someone open a can of worms??????????.
> > > > > > > Dusti-----I agree with you wholeheartedly and had a "book"
> >already
> > > > > > > forming in my head to post on here about the reasons why but you
> > > > > > > know what------it doesn't matter. After losing my Mom to cancer
> >and
> > > > > > > now walking the journey with Daddy; all the reasons or
> >explanations
> > > > > > > of why men or women do what they do is irrelavant. Either you
> >love
> > > > > > > someone enough to make a deep lifelong commitment to them
> > > > > > > (regardless of temptations or  impulses)  or not. My folks
> >did--for
> > > > > > > 48 yrs and I intend to follow that example I'm not saying it is
> > > > > > > easy--LIFE IS HARD--but either something is important enough to
> > > > > > > fight for or it's not. I think  family & values is. I sincerely
> >hope
> > > > > > > I haven't offended anyone by my views. I realize some people
> >don't
> > > > > > > feel strongly about this and thus take the choice away from the
> > > > > > > other person.-....My more than  2 cents worth.  Pat Kimmi-KS
> > > > > > > ---- Original Message -----
> > > > > > >   From: Barham, Dusti # IHTUL
> > > > > > >   To: 'mol-cancer@lists.meds.com'
> > > > > > >   Sent: Tuesday, August 22, 2000 10:22 AM
> > > > > > >   Subject: [MOL] Mr. Whipps/DEBATE
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > >   .  That is why I don't buy any of that crap on why it is that
> >men
> > > > > > > have this tendency or women have that tendency.  In the end, it
> >is
> > > > > > > each individual making choices.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > >   What do you think?
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > >   Warm Regards,
> > > > > > >   Dusti
> > > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > >
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