Re: [MOL] /DEBATE [02181] Medicine On Line


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Re: [MOL] /DEBATE



I totally agree Bridget, seems like therapists can screw things up pretty fast.
I'm sure there are some good ones but for the most part and the experience I
have had with therapists is they put a wedge between people instead of helping
build a bond......a little old fashined friend too.....Beav  p.s. How's the
grooming coming along with sox???

Bridget Rambeau wrote:

> I too am saddened, Lillian. This I ism really touched home with me some
> years ago when my c/l husband of a year went to councilling as he was having
> a real problem with committment. The things he had done before as a courtesy
> became, in his perception, obligations. Although nothing had really changed
> in terms of our feelings, he was withdrawing from me because he felt he'd
> lost control over his decisions.  This was his explanation to me, in any
> case. We had started to discuss marriage and were anxious for the
> relationship to continue. We agreed he should seek councelling.
> When he'd come home after a session, we'd talk about it. I couldn't believe
> what I was hearing yet I knew that it was the "modern" way of thinking. His
> councellor told him that he had to stop focusing on the relationship and
> focus on himself. That it didn't matter what I wanted, he had to first
> satisfy himself. That he needed to be more selfish and less flexible. So he
> did what the councellor suggested. Hence, he is my ex.
> I watched my parent's marriage for much of its 54 ys of life. I watched them
> go thru financial hardships, periods of emotional turmoil, illness and
> death, yet never once was there any question of ending their marriage. They
> accepted this as part of their lives together and dealt with each one and
> moved on. I then saw them reach a point of contentment, total trust in one
> another and the kind of love I still hope to find one day. I believe this is
> what we need to go back to if we want our marriages to last. Just an
> opinion.
> Your, old fashioned at heart, friend,
> Bridget
>
> >From: "Lillian" <firefly@islc.net>
> >Reply-To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com
> >To: <mol-cancer@lists.meds.com>
> >Subject: Re: [MOL] /DEBATE
> >Date: Wed, 23 Aug 2000 11:20:31 -0700
> >
> >I am also saddened that we have become a I ism world.  We do what ever
> >pleases us and if we get caught we blame someone else.  Accepting
> >responsibility for our actions is a major element to keeping a society
> >together and even a healthier lifestyle. Lillian
> >
> >
> >We invite you to take a look at our Album.
> >www.angelfire.com/sc/molangels/index.html
> >
> >   ( Very informational, good tips, Molers pictures, art work and much
> >more....
> >
> >----- Original Message -----
> >From: "Pat Kimmi" <lumber2@rainbowtel.net>
> >To: <mol-cancer@lists.meds.com>
> >Sent: Wednesday, August 23, 2000 5:09 AM
> >Subject: Re: [MOL] Mr. Whipps/DEBATE
> >
> >
> > > David and Carol,
> > > I did not take offense at the  debate going on now. I do enjoy the
> >banter
> > > tht goes back and forth on here; laughter is good medicine.
> >However.....I
> >am
> > > saddened that our society as a whole seems to accept and promote that
> >anyone
> > > is entitled to do whatever and even comes up with excuses  that
> >eliminates
> > > our responsibility for our actions. As a doting Grandma, I am concerned
> > > about the message this sends to our young people.   End of my
> >contribution
> > > to the debate-I enjoy seeing others responses and beliefs about it.
> > > Daddy continues to do well although he is now losing his hair--by the
> > > handful, he says. I told him he did good to not have lost it earlier as
> >he
> > > has been on chemo since Feb. This higher dose makes for a "bad hair
> >day".
> > > (Considering it is shrinking cancer that makes for a good day) His blood
> > > work last week was still in good range. God is Good.........  Pat
> >Kimmi-KS
> > >
> > > ----- Original Message -----
> > > From: Whipps, David <David.Whipps@equitas.co.uk>
> > > To: 'angel' <mol-cancer@meds.com>
> > > Sent: Wednesday, August 23, 2000 3:06 AM
> > > Subject: FW: [MOL] Mr. Whipps/DEBATE
> > >
> > >
> > > > Pat,
> > > > I have to re-iterate this as well.  If it comes over nasty or horrible
> >in
> > > > any e-mails I send, please please don't anyone take offence.  Most is
> > > tongue
> > > > in cheek, (But I still believe my mating theory);-)
> > > >
> > > > -----Original Message-----
> > > > From: Carol Foulkes [mailto:crfoulkes@Juno.com]
> > > > Sent: 22 August 2000 21:57
> > > > To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com
> > > > Subject: Re: [MOL] Mr. Whipps/DEBATE
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Miss Pat,
> > > >
> > > > Of COURSE we want your 2 cents worth.  You, of course, are relating
> > > > to
> > > > the spiritual and caring side of human nature.  You, being the gentle
> >and
> > > > loving person you are, and having such strong beliefs in honor and
> > > > commitment, do not delve into the seamier side of a relationship.  No
> > > > doubt your parents' relationship was a walking example of all that you
> > > > believe.  I sincerely think that's wonderful.  I hope you can forgive
> >our
> > > > "debates" and simply relate to them in the humorous vein they were
> > > > intended.  Perhaps some food for thought will come out of them, but
> > > > mostly we're just having fun.  Life is so complex, and at times so
> > > > painful, that it's great for some of us to shut it out and enjoy the
> > > > moment for what it is - just dumb fun.  No offense meant.
> > > >
> > > > Hugs to you and your dad,
> > > > Carol in Memphis
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > On Tue, 22 Aug 2000 15:06:25 -0500 "Pat Kimmi"
> ><lumber2@rainbowtel.net>
> > > > writes:
> > > > > Mr. Whipps/DEBATEBOY Did someone open a can of worms??????????.
> > > > > Dusti-----I agree with you wholeheartedly and had a "book" already
> > > > > forming in my head to post on here about the reasons why but you
> > > > > know what------it doesn't matter. After losing my Mom to cancer and
> > > > > now walking the journey with Daddy; all the reasons or explanations
> > > > > of why men or women do what they do is irrelavant. Either you love
> > > > > someone enough to make a deep lifelong commitment to them
> > > > > (regardless of temptations or  impulses)  or not. My folks did--for
> > > > > 48 yrs and I intend to follow that example I'm not saying it is
> > > > > easy--LIFE IS HARD--but either something is important enough to
> > > > > fight for or it's not. I think  family & values is. I sincerely hope
> > > > > I haven't offended anyone by my views. I realize some people don't
> > > > > feel strongly about this and thus take the choice away from the
> > > > > other person.-....My more than  2 cents worth.  Pat Kimmi-KS
> > > > > ---- Original Message -----
> > > > >   From: Barham, Dusti # IHTUL
> > > > >   To: 'mol-cancer@lists.meds.com'
> > > > >   Sent: Tuesday, August 22, 2000 10:22 AM
> > > > >   Subject: [MOL] Mr. Whipps/DEBATE
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > >   .  That is why I don't buy any of that crap on why it is that men
> > > > > have this tendency or women have that tendency.  In the end, it is
> > > > > each individual making choices.
> > > > >
> > > > >   What do you think?
> > > > >
> > > > >   Warm Regards,
> > > > >   Dusti
> > > > >
> > > >
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