Re: [MOL] /DEBATE [02088] Medicine On Line


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Re: [MOL] /DEBATE



I too am saddened, Lillian. This I ism really touched home with me some 
years ago when my c/l husband of a year went to councilling as he was having 
a real problem with committment. The things he had done before as a courtesy 
became, in his perception, obligations. Although nothing had really changed 
in terms of our feelings, he was withdrawing from me because he felt he'd 
lost control over his decisions.  This was his explanation to me, in any 
case. We had started to discuss marriage and were anxious for the 
relationship to continue. We agreed he should seek councelling.
When he'd come home after a session, we'd talk about it. I couldn't believe 
what I was hearing yet I knew that it was the "modern" way of thinking. His 
councellor told him that he had to stop focusing on the relationship and 
focus on himself. That it didn't matter what I wanted, he had to first 
satisfy himself. That he needed to be more selfish and less flexible. So he 
did what the councellor suggested. Hence, he is my ex.
I watched my parent's marriage for much of its 54 ys of life. I watched them 
go thru financial hardships, periods of emotional turmoil, illness and 
death, yet never once was there any question of ending their marriage. They 
accepted this as part of their lives together and dealt with each one and 
moved on. I then saw them reach a point of contentment, total trust in one 
another and the kind of love I still hope to find one day. I believe this is 
what we need to go back to if we want our marriages to last. Just an 
opinion.
Your, old fashioned at heart, friend,
Bridget


>From: "Lillian" <firefly@islc.net>
>Reply-To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com
>To: <mol-cancer@lists.meds.com>
>Subject: Re: [MOL] /DEBATE
>Date: Wed, 23 Aug 2000 11:20:31 -0700
>
>I am also saddened that we have become a I ism world.  We do what ever
>pleases us and if we get caught we blame someone else.  Accepting
>responsibility for our actions is a major element to keeping a society
>together and even a healthier lifestyle. Lillian
>
>
>We invite you to take a look at our Album.
>www.angelfire.com/sc/molangels/index.html
>
>   ( Very informational, good tips, Molers pictures, art work and much
>more....
>
>----- Original Message -----
>From: "Pat Kimmi" <lumber2@rainbowtel.net>
>To: <mol-cancer@lists.meds.com>
>Sent: Wednesday, August 23, 2000 5:09 AM
>Subject: Re: [MOL] Mr. Whipps/DEBATE
>
>
> > David and Carol,
> > I did not take offense at the  debate going on now. I do enjoy the 
>banter
> > tht goes back and forth on here; laughter is good medicine. 
>However.....I
>am
> > saddened that our society as a whole seems to accept and promote that
>anyone
> > is entitled to do whatever and even comes up with excuses  that 
>eliminates
> > our responsibility for our actions. As a doting Grandma, I am concerned
> > about the message this sends to our young people.   End of my 
>contribution
> > to the debate-I enjoy seeing others responses and beliefs about it.
> > Daddy continues to do well although he is now losing his hair--by the
> > handful, he says. I told him he did good to not have lost it earlier as 
>he
> > has been on chemo since Feb. This higher dose makes for a "bad hair 
>day".
> > (Considering it is shrinking cancer that makes for a good day) His blood
> > work last week was still in good range. God is Good.........  Pat 
>Kimmi-KS
> >
> > ----- Original Message -----
> > From: Whipps, David <David.Whipps@equitas.co.uk>
> > To: 'angel' <mol-cancer@meds.com>
> > Sent: Wednesday, August 23, 2000 3:06 AM
> > Subject: FW: [MOL] Mr. Whipps/DEBATE
> >
> >
> > > Pat,
> > > I have to re-iterate this as well.  If it comes over nasty or horrible
>in
> > > any e-mails I send, please please don't anyone take offence.  Most is
> > tongue
> > > in cheek, (But I still believe my mating theory);-)
> > >
> > > -----Original Message-----
> > > From: Carol Foulkes [mailto:crfoulkes@Juno.com]
> > > Sent: 22 August 2000 21:57
> > > To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com
> > > Subject: Re: [MOL] Mr. Whipps/DEBATE
> > >
> > >
> > > Miss Pat,
> > >
> > > Of COURSE we want your 2 cents worth.  You, of course, are relating
> > > to
> > > the spiritual and caring side of human nature.  You, being the gentle
>and
> > > loving person you are, and having such strong beliefs in honor and
> > > commitment, do not delve into the seamier side of a relationship.  No
> > > doubt your parents' relationship was a walking example of all that you
> > > believe.  I sincerely think that's wonderful.  I hope you can forgive
>our
> > > "debates" and simply relate to them in the humorous vein they were
> > > intended.  Perhaps some food for thought will come out of them, but
> > > mostly we're just having fun.  Life is so complex, and at times so
> > > painful, that it's great for some of us to shut it out and enjoy the
> > > moment for what it is - just dumb fun.  No offense meant.
> > >
> > > Hugs to you and your dad,
> > > Carol in Memphis
> > >
> > >
> > > On Tue, 22 Aug 2000 15:06:25 -0500 "Pat Kimmi" 
><lumber2@rainbowtel.net>
> > > writes:
> > > > Mr. Whipps/DEBATEBOY Did someone open a can of worms??????????.
> > > > Dusti-----I agree with you wholeheartedly and had a "book" already
> > > > forming in my head to post on here about the reasons why but you
> > > > know what------it doesn't matter. After losing my Mom to cancer and
> > > > now walking the journey with Daddy; all the reasons or explanations
> > > > of why men or women do what they do is irrelavant. Either you love
> > > > someone enough to make a deep lifelong commitment to them
> > > > (regardless of temptations or  impulses)  or not. My folks did--for
> > > > 48 yrs and I intend to follow that example I'm not saying it is
> > > > easy--LIFE IS HARD--but either something is important enough to
> > > > fight for or it's not. I think  family & values is. I sincerely hope
> > > > I haven't offended anyone by my views. I realize some people don't
> > > > feel strongly about this and thus take the choice away from the
> > > > other person.-....My more than  2 cents worth.  Pat Kimmi-KS
> > > > ---- Original Message -----
> > > >   From: Barham, Dusti # IHTUL
> > > >   To: 'mol-cancer@lists.meds.com'
> > > >   Sent: Tuesday, August 22, 2000 10:22 AM
> > > >   Subject: [MOL] Mr. Whipps/DEBATE
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >   .  That is why I don't buy any of that crap on why it is that men
> > > > have this tendency or women have that tendency.  In the end, it is
> > > > each individual making choices.
> > > >
> > > >   What do you think?
> > > >
> > > >   Warm Regards,
> > > >   Dusti
> > > >
> > > 
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