Re: [MOL] Debate(s) [02078] Medicine On Line


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Re: [MOL] Debate(s)



How true Dean. I think that often the person knows, or at least suspects, 
but prefers not to have to face it. Without proof they can hang on to their 
life as it is and never acknowledge the affair. Once they're told, though, 
their humiliation can no longer be hidden and, if they still choose to do 
nothing, they often become the one who is scorned for "putting up with it".
I often ask my friends if they would prefer I tell them or not should this 
happen (as it has on several occasions) and have been surprised by how many 
have said no, they'd rather not be told. We are interesting creatures, 
aren't we?
Your friend,
Bridget
>From: "michael c white" <THEBRATUSER@prodigy.net>
>Reply-To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com
>To: <mol-cancer@lists.meds.com>
>Subject: Re: [MOL] Debate(s)
>Date: Thu, 24 Aug 2000 07:00:15 -0700
>
>Bridget,
>
>    See, that's the very reason for not having told my friend. Like I said,
>after working so long with women, most of the time they really don't want
>reconfirmed what they already know, an it is always the messenger that they
>like to hate, as if it were he/she, that has caused it all just by telling
>her/him what they already had suspected (or wouldn't have asked). I'm not
>sure why when given the truth, one tends to try an hide by putting their
>head in the sand, until they can no longer take the hurt.Hurt me once, 
>shame
>on you, hurt me twice shame on me!!!!  xo Dean
>----- Original Message -----
>From: Bridget Rambeau <bsbridget@hotmail.com>
>To: <mol-cancer@lists.meds.com>
>Sent: Wednesday, August 23, 2000 10:15 AM
>Subject: RE: [MOL] Debate(s)
>
>
> > Just to provide an example of the opposite; a good friend of my ex's
>begged
> > him to tell her if her husband was running around. He was known for this
> > before they married and she'd just found out he'd had an affair while
>abroad
> > for a year working. Both were well known professionals in a small city 
>and
> > she was worried about public awareness. My ex happened to be good 
>friends
> > with both of them and while he had never volunteered the information, he
> > didn't feel he should be obligated to lie. So he told her that he had 
>seen
> > him once with another woman in a local bar, being quite affectionate. 
>She
> > confronted her husband and left for a couple of weeks. Ended up, they 
>got
> > back together.
> > The cheating friend never spoke to my ex again. The friend who had asked
>for
> > the info. called and told him her husband insisted she do the same. She
>said
> > she was sorry. He never heard from her again, even after she divorced 
>her
> > husband for yet another affair.
> > I think she took advantage of their friendship by pressing the issue. 
>It's
> > one of those times when ignorance truly is bliss!
> > Your friend,
> > Bridget
> >
> > >From: "Barham, Dusti # IHTUL" <Dusti.Barham@tulsa.cistech.com>
> > >Reply-To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com
> > >To: "'mol-cancer@lists.meds.com'" <mol-cancer@lists.meds.com>
> > >Subject: RE: [MOL] Debate(s)
> > >Date: Tue, 22 Aug 2000 16:27:28 -0500
> > >
> > >Very good point Lillian.
> > >
> > >  I would still assert that the person who is being cheated on has the
> > >right
> > >to make that decision and cannot unless duly informed.
> > >
> > >I discovered my husband's fiddle player cheating on his fiance last 
>year.
> > >After much angst, I decided that I could do no less than let her be the
>one
> > >to decide if she wanted to invest herself in that.  I gave him a week 
>to
> > >tell her or I would.  He didn't, so I did.  Thankfully my husband
>supported
> > >me, my friend understood that I put her interests at heart and the 
>fiddle
> > >player was just mad that he got caught.  A person is entitled to their
> > >dignity and cannot have that if everyone is too afraid to say anything.
> > >
> > >Spiritedly,
> > >Dusti
> > >
> > > -----Original Message-----
> > > From: Lillian [mailto:firefly@islc.net]
> > > Sent: Tuesday, August 22, 2000 7:15 PM
> > > To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com
> > > Subject: Re: [MOL] Debate(s)
> > >
> > > Please realize that if you tell your friend that their
> > >partner is cheating
> > > on them:
> > >
> > > 1.  They may have already known; but choused to be silent.
> > >
> > > 2.  To save face, you may force them into an action of
> > >regret.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > 
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