[MOL] Chris [02009] Medicine On Line


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[MOL] Chris



Title: Chris

Chris,

Agreed.  I try to take inventory of what is happening fairly regularly so I don't isolate myself too much.  I really feel that as time goes on, I will feel less 'different'.  Mom always told me how important it was to take care of myself physically when I was feeling low.  I made a lot of jokes about that to her.  It was very important to her that we put our best face to the world.  She has a point because I know when I look my best, I feel more capable than I do when I am scummed out.  I have discovered self tanning cream and I have had so many people ask me if I have just gotten back from vacation.  I also highlighted my hair and have tried to take a few extra minutes in the morning.  I am really surprised at the difference in how I feel when I have a good outfit on and my hair done.  I kind of just did the minimum there for a while and now I can see and feel the difference.  My husband has also noticed the difference and thinks he has a new girlfriend or something (in me).  Last year, when I found out about Mom, I put on 20 pounds.  At 5 ft 3 in, 20 pounds makes a big difference.  I had never had extra weight other than when I was pregnant.  Anyway, the last two months, the weight has come off.  My secret?  Nerves.  If nothing else, the slimmer, tanner Dusti is feeling more capable of dealing with the grief.  The worst part for me is over (God I hope).  You are still having to deal with it every day.  I'm so sorry Chris, I know it consumes every bit of life that you have.  In a way, Mom & I have been set free.  At least that is how I am trying to look at it.  I would still rather her be here, sick or not, but since she is not, I'm going on.  I know she would be proud that I'm taking care of myself and that comforts me.  Thank you for writing, it's nice to know that I am not the only one 'licking their wounds'.

You take care,
Dusti