Re: [MOL] Re: Update [01768] Medicine On Line

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Re: [MOL] Re: Update

Hi Carol. You aren't alone with the family thing; mine is exactly the same 
way! And I doubt you will get many responses telling you that your family is 
right. Remember, what they're doing (and this is only MY opinion remember 
and not meant to be insulting to anybody) isn't really about you at all. 
They are having difficuly dealing with your illness themselves and, when 
you're upset, they are being forced to face up to it. I'm sure there are 
lots of other reasons also but I think that's basically the bottom line. At 
first this really disturbed me and even more so when I got similar responses 
from close friends. I decided to discuss my need openly with my older sister 
and the close friend I was sharing a house with at that time. They really 
tried hard but invariably I'd end up consoling them. Ever notice how 
frequently that happens?
Ironically, right around the time all this was going on, my present 
roommate, who's been one of my best friends for almost 20 yrs, was dx with a 
tumor on her pituitary gland. It was benign but still requiired surgery 
(which will have to be repeated probably every 3-5 yrs) and radiation. 
Benign or not, she still faces a ton of medication, regular testing, endless 
doctors appts. and new doubts to replace the old confidence (that we'd be 
here forever).  The good thing was that this enabled her to relate to all 
the emotions I was going through and we were suddenly able to talk openly to 
one another about our pain, fear, curiosity, etc. I was lucky to find 
somebody I was so close to. You may have to accept that your family may or 
may not be able to be there for you in this regard, no matter how much they 
may want to!
In that turns out to be the case, I do have a suggestion. Aside from all the 
wonderful angels who make up this forum and who are here for you 24 hrs/day, 
have you thought about getting in touch with your local branch of the Cancer 
Society? They can often pair you up with someone in your area, often someone 
who suffers from the same type of cancer. This group is evidence of how 
quickly people can bond under these circumstances so it might be worth a 
try. There are times when a cyberhug just ain't enough...we need the real 
thing. I'm sorry for rambling on so long. I wasn't on-line all day yesterday 
so I have to make up for it.
Please try not to feel so betrayed or deserted because matters don't seem to 
be improving. How can we possibly judge when things are getting worse, or 
even better for that matter, when we have no idea where it is that we're 
supposed to be going? I found, for me, that I had to work on accepting 
whatever happened, no matter what that was, if I was going to find some 
peace during this journey that leads to only God (in all his many faces) 
knows where. So don't worry if your faith gets shaken every once in awhile. 
And I will pray, as you face all of those challenges awaiting you, that you 
will find some of those many treasures that lay buried amongst the rubble, 
such as this forum and the friendships that are being formed around you.
So, dear Carol O, if you need to cry or scream or whatever, feel free to 
burst a few speakers. I, for one, shall turn mine off for a little while, 
just to be safe. LOL
I can't seem to say anything that doesn't require dividing into chapters so 
I think I'll be quiet for a while. Maybe my parents told me too often as a 
kid that I was to be seen and not heard. Am I rebelling  do you think?
Your (gabby) friend,

>Subject: Re: [MOL] Re: Update
>Date: Sat, 19 Aug 2000 14:44:24 EDT
>In a message dated 08/19/2000 1:13:01 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
> writes:
><< What did the doctor say about treating the bone
>  cancer?  What's the prognosis?  (Not that it matters, because you're
>  going to lick it, anyway!)
>   >>
>   Hi Carol,
>   I haven't even spoken with the doctor yet.  My husband works at the
>hospital that I had the bone scan done at.  We weren't able to get the
>results until Monday because the doctor's office was closed at 3 yesterday.
>The only reason we have the results is because a nurse at the hospital went
>into the computer and got us the Radiologists report.  I have an 
>on Tuesday for my second round of chemo, and I will talk with the doctor 
>   I am feeling better today, thanks to all of the support everybody has 
>me.  It is so very true that there is nothing I can do about tomorrow so I
>have decided to handle today first.
>   One thing I really have a hard time with though is the fact that my 
>wants me to be upbeat at all times about this.  There are days where I need 
>good cry, but they refuse to let me do that.  I know what you are all going
>to say they are right, but what about being able to release the tension by
>shedding some tears?
>   What really had me upset yesterday was the fact that my faith was 
>I truly believed that God would see me through this, and now matters are
>getting worse.
>   Thanks so much for listening.
>Carol O.
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