[MOL] Oh my goodness !! [01675] Medicine On Line

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[MOL] Oh my goodness !!

I haven't read e-mail for 2 days & it took me an hour !!!  And how funny ... 
I was seriously sharing the pity pot with Bridget last night, only she didn't 
know we were having a party there.  And all the posts regarding hair couldn't 
have come at a better time.  I went to the hospital yesterday to talk to the 
stereotactic radio surgeon doctor for the first time.  It appears I have 3 
choices for the 4 menengiomas growing in my little brain.  The first being 
open surgery (again), however this of course will not stop the new little 
ones that we just don't see yet.  No kidding.  The second being stereotactic 
radiation.  But because of where the tumors are grouped, it will be extremely 
difficult to do.  And will take 2 hours bolted to a table.  And I will loose 
groups of hair, which may or may not grow back.  And of course it too will 
not stop future growths.  And after 6 months they "hope" the present tumors 
will shrink to aleviate my pressure & headaches.  And they are not sure if 
they can attach the frame to my head, due to the prior bone flaps from 
previous craniotomies. Hmm.  And the third option is total radiation .. 
fractionated.  Driving to the med school for 6 weeks Monday through Friday 
for daily treatments.  This should stop all growth, now & future.  It will 
also fry my hair out now & permanently, and for a lovely parting gift we will 
also get short term memory loss ... what a plus !  I can get movies & watch 
them over & over & over & over !  LOL  (Did that more than once after the 
surgeries I am sorry to say !)  Unfortunately in my occupation, memory loss 
is a real drag.  I work in an insurance agency, head of the commercial 
department with huge commercial accounts ... perhaps I could record all my 
conversations requesting coverage ???  LOL  This proceedure does not of 
course shrink the tumors, so the headaches & pressure I have is what I will 
So needless to say last night was a drag & I was having my own pity party.  
My hubby was ever supportive & for that I am eternally grateful.  I am doing 
better this morning, and yes I do realize better to live without hair than 
not to live ........... but I really like my thin shitty hair that I have 
fought to keep after each surgery !!!  And I never never never wear hats, 
scarves or wigs and I just can't imagine doing so for the rest of my life.  
And I'm afraid bald just isn't a good look for me ... been there.  I am 
terribly confused & not sure just which way to turn.  I am lucky I have three 
options, as some have none.  But being a whiney little girl this morning .... 
Thank you for all your posts & support.  They help more than you know.

Love to all,
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