I haven't read e-mail for 2 days & it took me an hour !!! And how funny ...
I was seriously sharing the pity pot with Bridget last night, only she didn't
know we were having a party there. And all the posts regarding hair couldn't
have come at a better time. I went to the hospital yesterday to talk to the
stereotactic radio surgeon doctor for the first time. It appears I have 3
choices for the 4 menengiomas growing in my little brain. The first being
open surgery (again), however this of course will not stop the new little
ones that we just don't see yet. No kidding. The second being stereotactic
radiation. But because of where the tumors are grouped, it will be extremely
difficult to do. And will take 2 hours bolted to a table. And I will loose
groups of hair, which may or may not grow back. And of course it too will
not stop future growths. And after 6 months they "hope" the present tumors
will shrink to aleviate my pressure & headaches. And they are not sure if
they can attach the frame to my head, due to the prior bone flaps from
previous craniotomies. Hmm. And the third option is total radiation ..
fractionated. Driving to the med school for 6 weeks Monday through Friday
for daily treatments. This should stop all growth, now & future. It will
also fry my hair out now & permanently, and for a lovely parting gift we will
also get short term memory loss ... what a plus ! I can get movies & watch
them over & over & over & over ! LOL (Did that more than once after the
surgeries I am sorry to say !) Unfortunately in my occupation, memory loss
is a real drag. I work in an insurance agency, head of the commercial
department with huge commercial accounts ... perhaps I could record all my
conversations requesting coverage ??? LOL This proceedure does not of
course shrink the tumors, so the headaches & pressure I have is what I will
get.
So needless to say last night was a drag & I was having my own pity party.
My hubby was ever supportive & for that I am eternally grateful. I am doing
better this morning, and yes I do realize better to live without hair than
not to live ........... but I really like my thin shitty hair that I have
fought to keep after each surgery !!! And I never never never wear hats,
scarves or wigs and I just can't imagine doing so for the rest of my life.
And I'm afraid bald just isn't a good look for me ... been there. I am
terribly confused & not sure just which way to turn. I am lucky I have three
options, as some have none. But being a whiney little girl this morning ....
I DON'T LIKE ANY OF THEM !!!! LOL
Thank you for all your posts & support. They help more than you know.
Love to all,
Carol
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