So very sorry to hear your news, my friend; I imagine you are feeling
both overwhelmed and in shock. Ultimately, only your dad can make the
decisions about his treatment, and I am sure you want to honor them,
whatever they are. At the same time it is good that you are finding
out everything you can, and this is a wonderful group that will try
to support you during this very difficult time.
But here are some things to think about which may impact you and your
dad's choices...
--how old is your dad, and how is his health otherwise? if his health
is poor and he is elderly, it is understandable that he might opt for
quality of life. If he is younger and in relatively good health, he
may just be in shock, feeling he has no hope, fearful that he will
only prolong the suffering and the inevitable.
--was it your stepmom who told you the decison, or your dad? and was
it right after the diagnosis? News like this impacts different folks
in different ways, and he may change his mind. You need to talk with
him yourself, if you can, and determine if this choice comes out of
depression and shock.
--is your dad a fighter? Attitude has a lot to do with survival rate.
Cancer is a difficult battle, but more people are surviving cancer
than dying from it. But you have to be willing to fight.
--has your dad had a second opinion? (and at least one diagnosis from
a Dr or hospital that is known for its success with treating cancer?)
And does his Dr. have a positive attitude? This too is key.
One of the things we see over and over in this group is that NO ONE
knows another's life span except the Big Guy upstairs! We have had
MANY folks in this group live far beyond their dr.'s best guess, and
we are living in an exciting time of significant improvements in
cancer treatment. Your father's Dr. is quoting statistics, but your
dad is not a number, he's a human being. And there are survivors of
EVERY kind of cancer -- who knows but what your Dad might be one of
them?
In my own family, I have 2 relatives who were sent home to die; the
Drs. could do no more for them. One lived to be *102* before she died
(at least 40 years after her prognosis; even outlived her husband by
at least 20 years!) and the other has lived a good *25* years past
his death sentence, seeing his infant daughter grow up and graduate
college!
So you see, we don't put much stock in statistics or life span
estimates! So my advise...do what you're doing, find out all you can,
and don't be too quick to give up!! My prayers are with you...Joicy
>My dad was just diagnosed with adenocarcinoma non-cell stage 3b cancer
>yesterday. My stepmom said he has 4 months to live and chemo will just
>prolong his life by 5 months. They have decided to do no treatment.
>Anyone have advise for me?
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