Afternoon everyone, hope this post finds you doing all right. It's getting
weirder by the day in my situation. Not really odd-weird, just
different-weird. Mom is now sleeping the majority of the time and we have
been here before but this time the Doctor's will no longer give her the
medication to keep her calcium at bay because it is producing at such a high
rate. They believe it will only be days, possibly a couple of weeks before
she slips into a coma. She will remain at my sister's house. At this
point she is able to open her eyes when asked, sometimes sit up and eat, and she
can still swallow her pills although she is having trouble and it will not be
very long until her medications will have to be taken rectally. I hope she
is in a full coma before we have to do that. She is drifting in and out of
reality. This is the hardest part for me: I have always been my
Mother's baby. I sat on her lap until I was probably 16 years old.
We even use to hold hands when we went to the mall. Before she was sick, I
called her at least twice a day. Obviously, we were very close.
Anyway, right now she is staying at my sisters and even though I come over every
day, she is depending more on my sister which is normal and fine. I do
take Wed & Thurs off of work and stay all day with her. The bad part
is that yesterday she kept asking me where Denise (my sis) was. I wasn't
doing anything that would annoy her but I could tell that she was annoyed and I
asked her "Mom, am I bugging you a little bit?" and she said that I
was. It just about crushed me but I do realize she is on
medication and has been in and out of reality for a little while. I lost
part of my Mother a long time ago. It is just hard to hear those kinds of
things. She knew my feelings were hurt because I said 'Mom, anything I do
for you, I would hope you would do for me if I was in your situation, I would
never, ever want to annoy or bug you' and she kind of flashed into reality and
said "Honey, if you ever bugged me, I wouldn't even tell you" which was
even worse than the first statement! Folks, I guess I am just
sensitive. I pretended to ignore that and continued to act normally.
I suppose it is only natural to start to become closer to the person who is
there 24 hours a day. I am there every day though. Then we had to
give her a shower and that was an ordeal. Anyway, I am struggling but am
hanging in here. By the time this is all over, I am going to need a few
stiff drinks. It can certainly wear your emotions out. I know Mom
loves me, it is just hard to hear that kind of stuff. I better go.
Have a good weekend.