Hi Dusti;
I was glad to read the update on your mom; I have found myself thinking of
her lately. I almost feel as if I know her from the vivid descriptions your
words paint.
It must be so incredibly difficult to watch her pain and not be able to take
it away...my heart goes out to you; I felt the same helplessness with my dad
and know how you must ache for her. But I also read into your words the
tremendous bonding that has occurred between you and how wonderful that you
will be able to carry that with you for the rest of your life...what a gift
she gives you.
As for obituaries, there are no hard and fast rules. Normally, the date,
time and place of death are given (cause of death is optional). Also,
immediate family that has predeased are mentioned along with surviving
family members. You can go as far as you like with this but generally
spouse, children & their spouses, grandchildren, parents, brothers/sisters.
Finally, the funeral arrangements are provided. Those are the basics. From
there, many people tell something of the person's past (where they were
born, raised, that kind of thing), clubs or organizations they belonged to,
anything of note about the individual that you'd like to have known. I have
a close friend who's husband died of lung cancer last year and she wrote his
obituary. It followed absolutely none of the rules but was, instead, a
glowing tribute to him as a husband, father and human being. She told me she
just pretended she was writing a letter to him and telling him all the
things she admired about him and how happy he had made her. It was truly
beautiful. Bottom line, Dusti, just close your eyes and let your heart do
the talking.
You and your mom are in my prayers. Your friend,
Bridget
>From: "Barham, Dusti # IHTUL" <Dusti.Barham@tulsa.cistech.com>
>Reply-To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com
>To: "'mol-cancer@lists.meds.com'" <mol-cancer@lists.meds.com>
>Subject: [MOL] Good Afternoon Molers
>Date: Fri, 14 Jul 2000 17:10:03 -0500
>
>Hi there, I just wanted to write in to update on things. Mom is doing ok
>but is starting to lose more weight, the Oncologist said that her liver is
>bigger and he thinks that the cancer is in a 'growing' stage. Her calcium
>level is starting to rise as well which contributes to feeling cloudy,
>lethargic, and naseaus. At this point she is still able to communicate
>pretty well but I had a real time getting her out of the tub yesterday, we
>will do the shower seat next time but she insisted on a bath. Her muscles
>just don't work anymore and her hands shake like she has palsy. I don't
>mean to make this sound scary for anyone, although it is a tad scary to
>watch. Regardless of the physical problems, her warm & gentle spirit
>remains. She wanted so much to live to see Chance's 5th birthday on the
>17th and she will accomplish that. I am as always, humbled by her enormous
>ability to love and forge on. I can't count how many gifts she has given
>me throughout my life but especially this last year. I do have a question,
>she wants me to write her obituary. How does one do this? Is there an
>outline? Should I scan the papers and use that as an example? My instinct
>is to head to the library but I thought I would check with you'all first.
>I
>know it sounds morbid but it is actually an honor for me. Well, I better
>head out of here. Hope everyone is having a blessed day. I will pray for
>all of you this weekend, please keep my Mom in your prayers too. Thank
>you.
>
>Regards,
>Dusti
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