[MOL] IMP. How to handle telemarketers [00332] Medicine On Line

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[MOL] IMP. How to handle telemarketers

 1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy
you could sure use some money.

 2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why do you want to
know?"  Alternately, You can tell them, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one
these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my acne is acting up,
my eyelashes are sore, my fish just died..." When They try to get to the sell,
just keep talking about your problems.

 3.  If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their
name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where questions
or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

 4. This works great if  you are male: Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and
I'm with XYZ Company..." You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice
ask, "What are you wearing?"

 5.  Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you
been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she
tries to figure out where she could know you from.

 6. Say "No," over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and even
as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang

 7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends; in
as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends...would you be my

 8. If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get  out blood? Can you get
out GOAT blood? How about HUMAN blood?

 9. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When
they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit
card number to a complete stranger.

 10.  Tell the telemarketer that you work for the same company, they often
can't sell to employees.

 11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a telemarketer, set the
receiver down, shout or scream "Oh my God!!!" and then hang up.

 12. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they
will give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back.  When the
telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say "I
guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer
will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!" Hang up.

 13. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.

 14. Tell them it is dinner time, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put them
on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure.  Smack your
food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.

 15. Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they
could bring you some groceries......

 16.  Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.

 17. Tell the telemarketer, "Okay, I will listen to you. But I should probably
tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."

 18. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come
on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"

 19. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak   ...
louder ...  louder...

 20. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD

down.......... Make them spell every word. >>

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