Re: [MOL] A GOODBYE/Wishing you peace....Joicy [02971] Medicine On Line

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Re: [MOL] A GOODBYE/Wishing you peace....Joicy

God Be with you always  Joicy! Goodness! this is where I feel the love I need 
at this time. I went to that support group I spoke about at the Hospice 
place. They let me express myself. The social worker suggested I write to the 
crisis-care unit and tell them how I felt good or bad. 
I believe what HURT the most is they(others that seen him) knew he was 
leaving me. Sure hospice gave me a book to read to prepare myself but the 
moment it happened. I lost it. I wanted them to get a suction over here to 
get the mucus out that he couldn't get out himself. (that he usually had no 
problem getting out on his own) And the sweat. I 'll leave it at this. I must 
add when he opened his eyes to the ceiling, the site must of been awesome!  
whatever he seen he loved it and went to it. Just before that happened I 
remember the words of the social worker and she said," sometimes you have to 
give your love ones permission to leave you. I got a chance to ask grandma to 
forgive me for not letting Dad go a couple of nights before. (He had called 
out to her and asked for his jacket, he said it was time to leave) I wouldn't 
let him leave out like he asked. The next night (2nd time) he asked me to 
open the back door, I marched to the back door , then I pulled back, saw my 
daughter lying on the living room floor sleep. I said, nah, can't open the 
door there might be a frog or something out here on the patio.
 But, the third time he left me.I know nothing I did could have keep death 
from coming in that morning. Actually, after hearing a couple of the ladies 
in the group , I feel truly BLESSED to have been with my Dad.
I know I said a mouthful. :)

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