I have a weird thought for you. I have finished reading a book on dying called Final Gifts written by two very experienced hospice nurses and it had ALOT of information on how dying people feel, cope, etc. It also had something to say about whether or not to tell a dying person if someone they knew died. They said that of course the dying person would want to know because it might make them feel better that someone they knew is experiencing what they soon will experience.
What I guess I am trying to say is that as weird as this might sound, I bet your Mom & Don take comfort from each other knowing they are both in similar boats, don't you think? I know this makes your burden twice as hard. Yes, it is the most excruciating thing to watch someone you love so very dearly just slowly fade from you right before your eyes. I can't think of a more helpless feeling. I know, I have been gripped w/ that helpless feeling even when I have helped all I can. There is only so much you can do Nanc, allow yourself to cry and to mourn what has been lost. God will pick you up when you need to be picked up and somehow, we will all get through this. I think of you and try and send strength waves your way :)
From: Nancy Postema[SMTP:email@example.com]
Reply To: firstname.lastname@example.org
Sent: Monday, June 26, 2000 1:57 AM
Subject: [MOL] Up date on our house, God bless you all.....
Hi to all you wonderful Mol Angels,
I have been very busy, working 4 days a week. Also Helping my
youngest daughter that for now is living with us to get moved into her
rented house, she finally found one that she can afford.
Her two girls are here a lot lately. I just hate these split ups, they
made a perfect looking and happy family, but then we don't see how things
are going behind the doors. Don is still hanging in, his eating habits have
changed again, he is getting weaker, he sleeps about 20 hours a day.
He is on 4 and 5 liters of oxygen now. He has lost about 20 lbs. in less then a
month, he is still losing yet.
Mother is on oxygen and with Hospice too, just was put with them last
Friday. She is down to 92 lbs.
Just a month ago she weighted about 118 lbs. She has been eating
the same, but getting very weak, can't talk to well anymore.
She doesn't do anything anymore, I have to help her in and out of bed now.
It is so hard to sit by and see my Mother and Husband both dying, looks like
they will be going about the same time, at least that is what it looks like
Love you all and my prayers are with all of you too,