Re: [MOL] Tom's Obit [00494] Medicine On Line


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Re: [MOL] Tom's Obit



Thanks for sharing Bess.  What a wonderful unique individual you married.
So sorry for your trials now.  We had a memorial for my father and I did
something I thought I never could do in a million years and that was to get
up and talk about how wonderful this man was to me.  He married my mother
and me when I was nine and during our first week together he insisted I
start calling him dad.  I screamed "my dad is dead and I'll never call you
dad".  He gently told me that he would no longer answer to Mac and Frank and
that he loved me very much and wanted me to call him dad.  We had a stand
off for over a week and when I finally called him dad we both cried and that
set the tone for our relationship for over 50 years.  He got it into his
head to adopt me three years ago and it is very strange to talk to a judge
that thinks you most likely are after the "old mans" money.  Then they sent
a  social service worker out to check out my parents home to make sure it
had suitable living conditions.!!  What a hoot!  Anyway, this man that I
loved died April 28 and the last thing he said to me was "I love you babe,
take care".  We were on our way to New Jersey for my husbands health.  What
I'm trying to say here is don't  miss the chanceto tell everyone at a
memorial what this man meant to you.  I told people that had no idea that we
were not blood relation about our love and it was so rewarding to have them
tell me they had never known.

Take care Bess
Love Peggy
----- Original Message -----
From: <BesTom@aol.com>
To: <mol-cancer@lists.meds.com>
Sent: Sunday, June 11, 2000 2:22 PM
Subject: [MOL] Tom's Obit


> Dear Friends:
>     Thank you all one and all for your incredible outpouring of support
and
> wonderful touching emails to me at this traumatic time.
>     It is now one week exactly since my dear Tom died.  I am still
searching
> for the perfect urn to keep his ashes in. I am vacillating between a
rather
> expensive peach alabaster globe shaped urn or some beautiful oriental
object
> that I might find at an antique or crafts shop.   This Tuesday which will
be
> our 25th wedding anniversary, I have invited a few close friends to drink
> champagne and have Beluga Caviar for a brief toast.  I hope Tom will be
there
> in spirit. I will try to have a suitable memorial service in mid July--the
> new Planetarium would be nice given his interest in the universe, but I
don't
> know if this is possible. Tom's colleagues at NHK, his network, are also
> planning to create a memorial web page for him where we can put pictures
and
> send in recollections.  I thought you might be interested in seeing the
obit
> notice placed in today's National New York Times.    Love, Bess
>
> ***********************
> The New York Times
> Sunday, June 11, 2000
> National Edition
>
> TOGASHI, TOM--pioneering Japanese TV journalist, loved and admired by
> colleagues, friends, and family--died at home in New York City on June
> 4, of lung cancer at age 63. A fisherman's son from Northern Japan, he
> earned a law degree from Chuo University in Tokyo and was awarded a law
> scholarship from the University of Kansas in Lawrence in 1959.  At a
> time when young Japanese rarely left their homeland, he explored every
> part of the country he loved and eventually become an American citizen.
> During the turbulent 60s he took part in almost every major event,
> became a well-known figure in the East Village, working with LaMama and
> other groups.  He then went on to make award winning documentaries for
> Japanese and American public television. His passionate interest in
> astronomy was reflected in an impressive international NHK-TV Galactic
> Odyssey series.  In 1996 he received a Media Achievement Award from the
> International Society for the Study of Dissociation for his sensitive TV
> portrayal of multiple personality disorder. His beaming smile and
integrity
> won the
> hearts of all who loved and worked with him--whose personal and
> professional lives he so deeply touched. He will be remembered for his
> compassion...his playful wit and intellectual curiosity...for his
> loyalty, tolerance of others, and unwavering decency...and for the
> courage with which he faced his final challenge.  His life was shorter
> than it might have been, but as rich and full as it could have been.  He
> is survived by his wife, Bess Heitner, and his brother, Hitoshi, in New
> York City and his mother Kikumi and family in Japan..
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
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