[MOL] to charlotte, Lisa [00198] Medicine On Line


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[MOL] to charlotte, Lisa



Charlotte, Wow. Please do join in anytime. I needed to hear that. My instinct
says to just encourage mom and let her natural fighting spirit be. It may be the
one thing that saves her life again. Or at least gives her more time than
expected. I will not be the one to discourage her. My husband is a psychologist,
and was worried that she would not have the closure she needs before passing
away if she did not come to grips with the possibitlity of dying. Normally he
keeps his psych training out of our personal lives even when I try to coax it
out of him so I knew he felt strongly about it. I also have tremendous respect
for him so I listened well to his concerns. This disease takes people into a
coma without notice--it could be tomorrow, so what he says is definitely valid.
Only I cannot be the one to break it to her. She depends on me for support and
expects me to be on her fighting team. I think you are right that every person
knows when to quit and maybe when the time is right we will have this talk but
until then I will be at my mom's side being her advocate. It may be that my
husband's fears will be realized. I hope not, but if so I will still be at my
mom's side telling her what her life has meant to so many people and wishing her
peace as she goes to join our lord in heaven. We know by where her tumor is in
her brain that she will be in a coma for awhile before her breathing rythmicity
center and her autonomic heart center are crowded out. And I know she will hear
me. I was just with her and it all came clear to me then. I thank you all for
your input. If I were not thinking clearly about this subject (It helped me to
sort it out just to type it) it still would be a big muddle in my head. Your
answers to me all rang in my ears while I figured out my role in this. You have
really helped me! LisaFix

Charlotte Kays wrote:

> Lisa, I know I'm butting in on your and Lillians conversation but I have
> only one story to tell.
>  An acquaintance of mine was in the same position as your mom.  He did
> not want anyone to tell him, "you can't"!   Anyone trying to tell him he
> couldn't live much longer angered him beyond belief!  If the patient
> doesn't want the "downer" of being told "you can't" then no one should
> think he has the right to blat that out to them.  If the patient asks,
> then truth is most times best.  I personally feel that each person knows
> when to keep fighting and when it's not worth it any more.   All we can
> do is love them and support them and let them do it their way. You are
> surely doing all that.  My prayers are going out for all of you at this
> time. Loves Charlotte
>
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