[MOL] LILLIAN [00184] Medicine On Line


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[MOL] LILLIAN



Thank you Lillian. We have utilized the services at UCLA for families. They give
a discounted rate at a house of hotels for families of patients in the medical
center. It was helpful, but we found it less expensive to stay at a local
discount inn. If I were not nursing my baby still I would let my husband take
care of the kids at home and I would just sleep in my mom's room or the hospital
waiting room. I am still figuring things out that way, but right now it just is
not my top priority. I am more worried about mom's well being right now.
Spiritually this is wrecking her. She is such a fighter and I know she is aware
that the odds are against her. She is obviously confused inside but outwardly
she shows no signs of giving in to the disease. A family member found it
necessary to tell her that she would not live much longer and that she must
enjoy these last days. She was very upset by this and is now refusing to talk to
him. She cried and told me "No, I will live another 20 years!". I am her best
friend and do not want to discourage her fighting spirit, but even so I see her
health is not so good and worsening fast. What do I tell her and how long do I
let her believe that she will win this battle?  Lisa

Lillian wrote:

> Lisa:  I am going to butt in here.  If you contact the hospital where your
> mother goes UCLA (I know it well) (in fact it was named one of the top
> cancer hospitals this year!).  They more than likely have either their own
> apt. type complex, a arrangement with motels for discounts or something.
> Most major hospitals have this now; as so many people travel from all over
> the world to these major hospitals.  Now, I am not sure the children can
> stay; so you would need to ask.  I would also suggest that you go to the
> American Cancer Society, your local chapter and perhaps they would arrange
> for gas allowance for you, I am assuming you are your mothers care giver.
>
> We have plenty of information on facing death; but lets wait a bit before we
> go that route.  There is still time for hope and that is the most important
> thing right now.  I am truly sorry that your mother and all of you are going
> through this.  We certainly understand your heavy heart.  Warmly, your
> friend, lillian
>
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