Re: [MOL] DUSTI! [01266] Medicine On Line


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Re: [MOL] DUSTI!



Title: Lillian
You have come so far on this journey friend and I will forever admire you and think of you.  It needs to be your mother's decision, she will know and she will let you know. It is far better that she be a participant rather than a victim. Bless her heart about cremation being cheaper and thinking of her girls.  What an unselfish mother you have and you are without a doubt a chip off the young block.  I can't say old block, for she is not old. Love you Dusti. lillian
 
 
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----- Original Message -----
From: Barham, Dusti # IHTUL
To: 'mol-cancer@lists.meds.com'
Sent: Tuesday, May 30, 2000 9:34 AM
Subject: [MOL] Lillian

Hi Lady, thanks for your insight.  I guess I wasn't sure what I expected from hospice except I was looking for someone w/ nursing experience that could be an advocate for Mom.  I think we are still setting expectations w/ hospice and I am glad that the Onc is still involved.  Mom has been eating totally normal for four days with no throwing up.  What a blessing.  I know that this will only be for a short time as the aredia that helps w/ the calcium level will soon not be able to keep up w/ what her body is producing.  But for now, we have a reprieve and she is back to a lucid state.  For a while there, she was not disoriented but she said she felt like she had a real serious flu, kind of foggy.  I can't tell you the difference but again, I know this is not going to last and I am trying to remember and keep that in mind.  I have been thinking alot about how I don't want Mom to suffer and have to be revived only to be in the same position a couple of weeks later.  I have come to the conclusion that I am not able to make that kind of conclusion :)  I can't predetermine what is best for her because I don't want to affect her destiny, So far, she has been able to make the decisions on what will happen to her.  She said that we will just take one day at a time and not try and plan on what we will do next time but wait to see how she is feeling.  I did tell her that although I want her around as long as possible, I don't want her to fight on my account.  I want her to be in control over whether she wants to fight or not.  Of course I want her to fight, My sister feels the opposite because she hates to see anyone struggle only to be disappointed but success is measured differently by different people and I believe that we are all on the same page in agreeing that Mom can be in control of her destiny to a certain extent and we can respect each others feelings.  I am certainly glad that we have had this time, she told us that she changed her mind on being cremated.  She didn't think it would bother her but now she wants to be buried next to her own Mother.  Lillian, she actually said that she thought cremation would be cheaper and that she didn't want to take away from me & Denise's inheritance.  After picking my jaw up off of the floor, I informed her that it was HER money to begin with and if she wanted to cash in all of her insurance policies right now and spend them, I could care less.  I want her to be able to enjoy what she worked for, I have never wanted or cared about her money.  Money has never been a motivation for me.  She knows this but she is always thinking of us.  I finally approached my work today about some extra time off, I'll let you know what they say.  I kind of went over my bosses head to someone I could actually voice my feelings to.  Hope you enjoyed your weekend, we certainly did.  I have got huge tomato plants and other stuff growing, it's been fun checking on my garden every day. 

Love you,
Dusti