[MOL] Marlene [00088] Medicine On Line

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[MOL] Marlene

Marlene, it makes a lot of sense. Like you said, cancer is a growing
experience for all who are touched by it. And we what we sometimes
forget is that certain ways of "protecting" others can actually deprive
them of experiences God intends them to have for their own growth and
strengthening. I know that my children are far more compassionate and
mature individuals because of my cancer, more generous, giving and
caring, I believe. 

As someone once said, you don't become a skilled sailor by keeping the
boat in a safe harbor -- you become your best through sailing rough
seas. Love, Joicy

LarryMarlene@cs.com wrote:
> Joicy,
>     I couldn't agree with you more, although I understand what Nancy was
> saying.  I'm so used to being the strong one in the family even when I'm
> sick, that it's been hard to follow the rules of concentrating on myself.
> It's been hard watching my husband and daughter worry about me, but they do
> get along okay.  They are learning as I am learning, not to be selfish but to
> allow the other to deal with things on their own as I deal with things for
> me.  That's how we all grow, not by protecting each other but allowing each
> other to grow.
>     Yes, I do get a little selfish now and sometimes feel guilty about it,
> but my doctor is very firm about getting "ME" well.  If the others were sick,
> that might be different, but they aren't and my energies need to be focused
> on my health at the moment.  So I throw the guilt aside, give my friends and
> family room to take it all in, and I concentrate on me.  If they love me,
> they will understand.  Cancer lets you find out who your true friends and
> family are.
>     Kathy, concentrate on getting better.  You have a wonderful, giving
> heart.  If you don't take care of you, we all lose that wonderful, giving
> heart in our lives.  So don't be selfish to us and get selfish with your
> health so we can continue to take advantage of that wonderful, giving heart
> of yours and you can continue life.  (Does any of that make sense?)
> Luv you all,
> Marlene
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