Re: [MOL] CHRIS ! [00079] Medicine On Line


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Re: [MOL] CHRIS !



You are not babbling, you are letting go of the pain and anger that tried to
hide deep inside of you.  In other words you are healing.  Great news!
Always your friend, lillian


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----- Original Message -----
From: <CCR0417@AOL.COM>
To: <mol-cancer@lists.meds.com>
Sent: Monday, May 01, 2000 7:52 PM
Subject: Re: [MOL] Brenda- Emotional side of cancer


> PST huh?  I should be familiar with that too - but it never occured to me
> that it could apply in this situation.  You're right Lillian!
>
> I think that we all hurt so much, for our loved ones and for ourselves.
I'm
> not trying to say that there is nothing to be thankful for - nothing could
be
> more untrue. I thank God for every day that my father is here, that he is
> doing much better than any of us expected. I thank God for Barb's progress
> and many others here.
>
> Then the monster rears its head yet again - it wants to hurt our Kathy -
but
> it will lose this round too. Still it hurts; it hurts her, it hurts her
loved
> ones, and it hurts us. Can we compare our pains? In one sense, yes; but in
> the greater reality, no.  If my loved one has a broken leg it doesn't make
my
> toothache any less painful.  But neither can I imagine that I know the
pain
> of that broken leg or the pain of not being able to walk (unless I have
> *been* unable to walk myself). I believe the person with cancer (basing
this
> on my father and others I've known) feel a great deal of isolation arising
> from the physical confinement, the fear, the treatment, the uncertainty,
and
> the alienation of the uneducated, but well-meaning others. I too felt that
> isolation but I had other things to do and to think about - I had a life
to
> run, a job to do, and a loved one to care for. My father had time - time
to
> be tired, time to think, time to worry...but mostly he was sick.  He is a
> strong man and it took every bit of his strength AND mine AND his wife's
AND
> my sister's AND his sisters to keep him going. We cried alone or with each
> other when HE wasn't watching.  He cried alone when NO one was watching.
>
> I'm not even sure WHY I am saying all this, but I just babble on...and
> on...lately.
> -chris
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