Re: [MOL] Brenda- Emotional side of cancer [00072] Medicine On Line


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Re: [MOL] Brenda- Emotional side of cancer



PST huh?  I should be familiar with that too - but it never occured to me 
that it could apply in this situation.  You're right Lillian!

I think that we all hurt so much, for our loved ones and for ourselves. I'm 
not trying to say that there is nothing to be thankful for - nothing could be 
more untrue. I thank God for every day that my father is here, that he is 
doing much better than any of us expected. I thank God for Barb's progress 
and many others here. 

Then the monster rears its head yet again - it wants to hurt our Kathy - but 
it will lose this round too. Still it hurts; it hurts her, it hurts her loved 
ones, and it hurts us. Can we compare our pains? In one sense, yes; but in 
the greater reality, no.  If my loved one has a broken leg it doesn't make my 
toothache any less painful.  But neither can I imagine that I know the pain 
of that broken leg or the pain of not being able to walk (unless I have 
*been* unable to walk myself). I believe the person with cancer (basing this 
on my father and others I've known) feel a great deal of isolation arising 
from the physical confinement, the fear, the treatment, the uncertainty, and 
the alienation of the uneducated, but well-meaning others. I too felt that 
isolation but I had other things to do and to think about - I had a life to 
run, a job to do, and a loved one to care for. My father had time - time to 
be tired, time to think, time to worry...but mostly he was sick.  He is a 
strong man and it took every bit of his strength AND mine AND his wife's AND 
my sister's AND his sisters to keep him going. We cried alone or with each 
other when HE wasn't watching.  He cried alone when NO one was watching.

I'm not even sure WHY I am saying all this, but I just babble on...and 
on...lately.
-chris
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