Re: [MOL] Chris, Brenda- Emotional side of cancer [00057] Medicine On Line


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Re: [MOL] Chris, Brenda- Emotional side of cancer



Joicy & Chris,

You worded it perfectly.  I had never looked at it as post-traumatic stress, 
or mourning, but you're absolutely right.  I have done so much 
self-analyzing in the last year or so.  I just could not figure out WHAT was 
wrong with me!  Why wasn't I still ecstatically happy?  I have had bursts of 
frustration and just say things I would never have dreamed of saying 18 
months ago!  But it is always over things that irritate me half to death due 
to being monotonous situations - people complaining, griping over the same 
things ALL the time!  Like a broken record.

In early December, 1999, a good friend of mine called and said she has 
cancerous tumors in/on her liver, and they gave her a 40-60% chance that 
chemo would work.  She has unknown primary.  I feel so terrible for her, and 
have found that, at times, I don't know what else to say to her.  When she 
was first diagnosed, it was easy to talk about it, but as time has gone on, 
and things don't look good for her, I really don't know what to say.  And, 
I've found that I sortof feel a bit "guilty" that I'm doing well, and will 
probably be OK, and her outcome is still up in the air.  And, then when I go 
through my periods of frustration, I feel so ashamed of myself, thinking how 
fortunate I am.  Emotional roller coaster.

I've found that through message boards, such as this one and I'm also on the 
Kidney Oncology message board, that many cancer "victims" share the same, or 
very similar emotional affects of cancer.  It has really helped me put my 
thoughts/feelings into perspective and I can surely relate!

Thanks for your responses -- you don't know how much it helps.

Brenda



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