Bess, you know your husband better than anyone so you will make the correct
decision. Bless you and hang in there.
Dusti
> ----------
> From: BesTom@AOL.COM[SMTP:BesTom@AOL.COM]
> Reply To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com
> Sent: Saturday, April 29, 2000 11:27 AM
> To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com
> Subject: [MOL] Tom Today
>
> Dear Friends:
> I just came home for an hour to get some things and check my emails.
> I
> was so touched by all your messages. I really can't say how and when the
> end
> will come but it won't be easy. Last night we asked our onc for an
> assessment in front of Tom who has always been in denial about this. The
> onc
> told us that Tom was in a critical situation because they can't control
> the
> infection--in fact although they're calling it pneumonia, they haven't
> actually identified the infection so they're throwing every antibiotic
> they
> have at him. His breathing is also getting significantly worse. He could
>
> not use the little nose inserts but had to sleep with the stronger air
> mask
> all night. I also learned that his liver numbers are abnormal and this
> morning he woke with a new pain in the liver area. I guess all the chemo
> and
> this additional junk and pills have destroyed that organ too. Last night
> he
> was saying he was ready to die and didn't want to suffer. Our onc told me
>
> privately we could put him on a morphine drip right then--when I mentioned
>
> this to Tom he was horrified and said our onc was cruel (which is not
> true,
> he's very kind, just honest). If he makes it through the weekend and I
> think
> he will, they are thinking of doing a bronchoscopy to try to "identify the
>
> infection" So what if they do and they treat it. The bronchoscopy itself
> is
> very invasive and it would only be a matter of time till a new infection
> cropped up. Tom says he won't leave the hospital till his infection is
> gone
> no matter what our insurance says. This morning, after sleeping with the
> strong air mask and numerous percocets, decacadron, prednisone,
> nebulizers,
> etc. he woke up weak but feeling much better and said he was going to
> lick
> this and make it. I am at my wits end and really don't know what to do
> and
> say knowing the sad sad reality of all this.
> He has been very unlucky--not even a year since diagnosis, no response to
> any
> chemo which is probably what weakened his immune system to begin with.
> Although he once told me he wanted to die at home, my instinct is he would
> be
> very frightened and it would be better for him to be in the hospital.
> Will
> let you all know what happens. Love, Bess
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