[MOL] Back to Chris & Joicy and anyone else.... [02393] Medicine On Line

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[MOL] Back to Chris & Joicy and anyone else....

Hi Chris & Joicy and anyone else,
I am sorry if I offended any of you in anyway.  I was trying to explain to
Kathy to take care of herself,
and to give Her & Steve a chance to get over the shock of the news.
I felt her pain and wanted to give her some hope, I knew she needed not to
stress herself on this.
A cancer patient does not need added stress to deal with.
I am not perfect.

Let me try and explain myself better.  Sometimes more then not on mol, I
tend not to express myself to
some of you, please forgive me if I don't word this just right, I do not
mean to hurt anyone's feelings.

For the most part this is my life and feelings:

Being a 24 hour caregiver 7 days a week for years, is very hard on the
I never meant that the cancering patient had any easier time of it.
Their are articles out on the fact that Caregiving is sometimes harder on
the caregiver then the
The patient does suffer, worry about dying, worry about leaving loved ones
behind, they get ornery,
most men don't cry, they can no longer do the things they used to do and
enjoyed doing them,
it is hard on them to have to depend on someone else having to meet their
every need.
Some of them are just plain scared to pieces, also have a lot of pain and
sick to their stomach,
it is very taxing on them, having to go for treatments, lab work, tests,
appointments, etc.
It is very important for them to have loved ones, friends, etc. to be there
for them and to be
supportive and help meet their every need.
I Love my Don very much and would never leave him, no matter what.  But
there are times I feel like
I am in prison, I would love to be able to go somewhere just one day and not
have to worry about
how Don and Mother are doing at home, but I can't.
Sometimes I would like to put them in a nursing home and have a life, but I
am not that kind of a
person.  I worry about how I will go on with my life after Don leaves me,
like where will I live,
will I still be able to keep my Mother with me, how will I be able to do
that on very little money.
As you get older you have your own medical problems, that makes it harder to
be a caregiver.
I am a very dedicated one, have been for Don's Mother, Uncle, my Father,
Mother and now Don.
As odd as it may seem, Don has had very little pain, through his cancer
journey.  For about a week
through radiation he had trouble swallowing, I had to puree all his food,
then the Doctor put him on
liquid vicodin, that took care of that, he was back to eating normal.
Don is in his recliner 90% of the time, it is in front of the picture
window, I am busy making his view
pretty and active with the grandkids that he loves to see, but are to noisy
in the house for him.
When he has to be in a hospital bed, it will be in front of the window.
I have never seen Don cry, I have done enough for him and me too.  He can't
go out and work in
the yard like he used to love to do, but he enjoys watching me do it, I will
look up to the window and
see him smile and wave at me, it just warms my heart.
He has always loved to cook, but has learned to like mine. LOL
There is NOTHING I wouldn't do for Don or Mother, at the same time I know I
have to take care
of myself to be there for them, that is hard sometimes and it is hard to ask
for help, but I have to.
Don has to have help with showers now, that is hard on him, he is a proud
If he wants to go somewhere, I will take him no matter what it takes to get
him there.
He is my life, I will have to go on without him, which will be hard for me.
Let me end this by saying, there is no easy ride on a cancering roller
coaster ride for anyone on that
ride, the patient, caregivers, family, friends, etc.
I guess my choice of words struck a few nerves, I am truly sorry.  It would
be hard to weigh who
it is harder on.
I do know one thing, when you have been touched with cancer your life has
changed forever.
God Bless you, Love you much,
Nanc ():-)

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