[MOL] Chris, Nanc and Kathy [02386] Medicine On Line

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[MOL] Chris, Nanc and Kathy

Chris and Nanc, if I can jump in here, too, and this is VERY important!

One of the BIG things the oncs are trying to get across to all cancer
patients is that the cancerers are absolutely NOT supposed to be
worrying about anyone but themselves when they are fighting cancer, and
they are NOT supposed to be trying to be the strong one or the support
giver. All their energy must go into their healing. This goes counter to
the thinking of most of us, especially if we are the "strong" one who is
usually the caregiver, and we become ill, but it is essential to
regaining good health. 

This was really hard for me when I was ill, because i wanted so bad to
be there for my loved ones. But I simply didn't have the strength to
fight the cancer AND protect them. This gets more complicated when
several folks in the family are all ill, but we all have to bear
responsibility for our own "stuff."

There is no question that Steve may be a good guy who just needs time to
overcome his own shock, and it sounds like he may already be doing this.
I really hope so (we all like happy endings!) but that is HIS
responsiblity, not Kathy's. Kathy needs to just focus all her energies
on getting well (and I know you will, Kathy! get well, that is!) 

Again, hope you don't mind my speaking so strongly, but this is a really
important (and confusing) issue for those dealing with cancer. Love you

CCR0417@AOL.COM wrote:
> In a message dated 04/30/2000 10:30:03 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
> misty60@earthlink.net writes:
> > For some reason, although it may not seem fair.  The one with the cancer has
> >  to be the strong>  one, and has to be sometimes more supportive to their
> loved ones.  Being a>  caregiver is some times as hard as having the cancer.
> Nanc, no disrespect intended here, but I must disagree. As hard it is may be
> to be a caregiver, and as much strength as it does require for a patient to
> deal with cancer, I don't think there is any comparison between what a
> caregiver endures and the patient endures.
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