RE: [MOL] Joicy [02109] Medicine On Line


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RE: [MOL] Joicy



Hi, Dusti, so glad this was helpful. I think this is a very tough 
issue for many of is. I just got back from visiting a friend who is 
a prostate cancer survivor. He lives in a remote area, and the local 
Dr. was furious because my friend opted to go to a larger hospital 2 
hours away for a more advanced procedure! He has had to see this Dr. 
since for some other things, because he can't drive 2 hours every 
time he needs a Dr., and the guy treats him horribly. But in most 
cases, we do NOT have to take it. I hope this helps with your mom. 
Love, joicy


>Joicy, thank you for this article.  My Mom's oncologist drives me crazy.
>It's like he doesn't even remember her and when he does, he is extremely
>negative.  I have tried to tell Mom that it doesn't have to be like this and
>this article might help my case.  Thanks again, I appreciate it.
>
>Regards.
>Dusti
> 
>
>> ----------
>> From: 	Becker, Joicy[SMTP:Joicy.Becker@PTSEM.EDU]
>> Reply To: 	mol-cancer@lists.meds.com
>> Sent: 	Tuesday, April 25, 2000 4:38 PM
>> To: 	'MOLers'
>> Subject: 	[MOL] Pointers: talking to your Dr.
>> 
>> (The full article, "Divorcing your Dr." may be found at:	
>> 
>> http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/WPlate/2000-04/25/032l-042500-idx.htm
>> l
>> 
>> 
>> 				Below are some suggestions from Korsch and
>> other experts about how to develop a rapport
>> 
>>                         with
>> your physician and when it may be time to divorce your doctor:
>> 
>> 
>>                         * Speak up--tactfully. If something bothers you
>> about
>> the doctor or the office, broach the
>>                         subject, but not in a hostile way. Saying you
>> don't
>> think the doctor is hearing your concerns,
>>                         that you feel rushed or that the nurse was rude is
>> permissible. Demanding that the doctor give
>>                         you your "money's worth" or yelling at the staff
>> is
>> likely to receive a chilly reception.
>> 
>> 
>>                         Sometimes the problem is symbolic, but important
>> to
>> you nonetheless. Suppose you hate it
>>                         when a doctor calls you by your first name. "You
>> could say, 'You know I really don't like it
>>                         when you call me by my first name and I call you
>> doctor,' " suggested Korsch, who has done
>>                         this herself.
>> 
>> 
>>                         * Don't wait until the last minute to bring up the
>> real reason for your visit. Doctors hate
>>                         so-called "doorknob questions"--those loaded, "Oh,
>> by
>> the way" inquiries that require
>>                         prolonged exploration and explanation. Mention
>> these
>> things first. That way you'll have more
>>                         time to discuss them.
>> 
>> 
>>                         * Be succinct. Some people chatter when they are
>> nervous and mention a litany of irrelevant
>>                         factors. Before you go in, think about what you
>> want
>> to say. Don't expect the doctor to divine
>>                         the problem: You have to articulate it. Be
>> selective
>> in your use of Internet information; many
>>                         medical Web sites contain information that is
>> misleading, outdated or not germane to your
>>                         problem. Don't come armed with reams of printouts
>> from the Web and expect the doctor to go
>>                         over them with you.
>> 
>> 
>>                         * If a doctor won't answer your questions or uses
>> incomprehensible medical jargon, be
>>                         persistent. If you find it hard to concentrate or
>> your problem is complex, take notes or use a
>>                         tape recorder. If you still find that you don't
>> understand, that your questions are not being
>>                         answered or that the answers don't make sense,
>> find
>> another doctor.
>> 
>> 
>>                         * Choose carefully. Don't pick a doctor just
>> because
>> he's nearby. Figure out what's important
>>                         to you in a physician and schedule a consultation
>> before you commit. "After all, you wouldn't
>>                         buy a car without driving it or at least sitting
>> in
>> it," said Mack Lipkin Jr., director of primary
>>                         care at the New York University School of
>> Medicine.
>> 
>> 
>>                         * Trust your instincts. Good relationships with a
>> doctor are predicated in large part on
>>                         chemistry. If you don't like her or you feel
>> uneasy,
>> find another physician. 
>> 
>> 
>>                         * But don't be seduced by a doctor with a great
>> bedside manner--and little else. Empathy is no
>>                         substitute for clinical excellence; ideally they
>> go
>> together. "There are a great many quacks who
>>                         have a great bedside manner," Lipkin observed. "At
>> the same time there are doctors who are
>>                         technically outstanding but can't relate to
>> people."
>> 
>> 
>>                         * Dump a doctor who gets mad when you mention
>> seeking
>> a second opinion, or says you
>>                         don't need one. "It means he's got an MDeity
>> complex," said Korsch.
>> 
>> 
>>                         * If your chief complaint is waiting time, ask the
>> doctor how to minimize this. It may mean
>>                         arranging to have the first appointment of the day
>> or
>> calling ahead to see if the doctor is on time
>>                         or running late.
>> 
>> 
>>                         * Divorce a doctor who has made a serious mistake,
>> wasn't honest or failed to communicate
>>                         test results in a timely manner. You'll probably
>> never be able to trust him again.
>> 
>> 
>>                         If you've tried and continue to feel that you
>> can't
>> communicate or that the doctor is dismissive,
>>                         insensitive or disinterested, find a new doctor.
>> As
>> Lipkin noted, "Even though it may not
>>                         matter now . . . that you can't talk to your
>> doctor,
>> in the future your life may depend on it." 
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>

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