[MOL] Fwd: Fw: Something Frivolous [01324] Medicine On Line


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[MOL] Fwd: Fw: Something Frivolous



 

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----- Original Message -----
Sent: Tuesday, April 11, 2000 9:05 PM
Subject: (no subject)


> THE TRANSCRIPT OF THE NEW VOICE MAIL SERVICE RECENTLY
> INSTALLED AT THE MENTAL HEALTH INSTITUTE:
>
> "Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline.
>
> ---If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
>
> ---If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you now.
>
> ---If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
>
> ---If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want.  Stay on
the
> line so we can trace your call.
>
> ---If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the
> mother ship.
>
> ---If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell
you
> which number to press.
>
> ---If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you
press --
> no one will answer anyway.
>
> ---If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969.
>
> ---If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the star and pound
keys
> until a representative comes on the line.
>
> ---If you have amnesia press 8 and state your name, address, phone number,
> date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.
>
> ---If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or
> before the beep.  Or after the beep.  Please wait for the beep.
>
> ---If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
> ---If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
> ---If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
> ---If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
>
> ---If you have low self esteem, please hang up.  All of our operators are
too
> busy to talk to you.
>
> Thank you and have a nice day."
>
>
> Bob
>

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