Dear
Chris...if I might add that parents always know the buttons to push. My
Mother and were, at times, like oil and water only because we knew each other so
very well. Sometimes, we all forget how easy it is to hurt someone that we
love and who loves us because we leave ourselves so open and venerable.
And it is also so easy to strike out at those closest to us when we are in
fear. The only regret I have ever had with my Mom was that I was not more
understanding and therefore more present for her. Hang in there and always
remember that it isn't you, its the cancer. Also, you NEED time
away from it all for yourself!!! Being a care giver to a
loved one is the most emotionally draining job in the world and you have to
guard against depression and exhaustion...both physical, emotional, and
spiritual. Vent here with us, take time for the things that make Chris
whole, and keep your faith in God strong by turning to Him. God bless you
and you and your Dad remain in my prayers.
John
-----Original Message----- From: Barham, Dusti # IHTUL
[mailto:Dusti.Barham@tulsa.cistech.com] Sent: Wednesday, March 22,
2000 2:33 PM To: 'mol-cancer@lists.meds.com' Subject:
[MOL] Diane/Chris
Chris-you sound like a saint....a
very loving, dutiful daughter. I count myself fortunate that my own
Mother has not been cantankerous with me, I don't know if I could stand
it. It has been hard enough w/out that extra obstacle. Diane, if I
had any advice for you.....remember that your Mother is acting out of fear and
she needs you to be calm and normal. Yes, there is an enormous amount of
sacrifice, but you don't want to look back and regret. I thought Lillian
had it right when she said that you will have to be creative and make it
work. Good luck & feel free to vent here, I do all the
time.
