Good Morning All,
Thought This might be of some interest
The Top 10 Ways To Profoundly Affect Others
We all affect others anyway. Why not affect them profoundly? Here are
10 proven ways to do this, all of which will make you a lot more
attractive to others and to yourself.
1. Listen for and point out the special gifts, traits or talents of
the other person.
Most people are listening for what they need from the other
person. When you're listening for what's special or unique about a
person --and point it out -- you'll very much affect them positively,
with very, very little effort on your part. What if you did this during
conversation you had for the rest of your life? Hmm, sounds pretty
attractive to me.
2. Listen and respond-in-kind to the underlying emotion of the other
Facts and information are valuable, but are rarely profound.
What is profound is people, emotions and concepts. Next time you're
listening to your child, client or friend, feel what they are feeling
and respond in kind to that, instead of just to what they are saying.
the fastest way to the person's heart.
3. Deliver nuggets/messages that can be remembered and retransmitted.
There is something called memes, which are basically the
idea-equivalent of genes. Read Richard Brodie's book "Virus of the Mind"
for the complete story. But the idea is that when you can package
information, concepts or truth into nugget-sized packages, they don't
easily on the person you're talking to, but that person can pass them on
to others easily, like a virus. Virus, get it? The biggest thing in life
is the competition between memes and genes. (By the way, memes will win
because they can mutate and retransmit millions of times faster than
genes can.) So, become memetically attractive. In other words, have
simple, worthwhile, intriguing things to say. It's as simple as that.
4. Have so accepted and endorsed your worst weaknesses that others
feel safe around you.
A lot of attraction works without you having to 'work it.' It
happens by itself, behind the scenes. And one of the ways to profoundly
affect others is to be so 'over yourself' that they, too, can get over
themselves. We're all gripped by eye-popping fears and compelling
desires, but when you've reached that place in life where you aren't
affected by any of this stuff -- because you've fully accepted your
humanness, faults AND talents, then others can have the same experience
of themselves. It's magical. And profoundly attractive.
5. Open up new worlds for people, in their thinking, feeling or
In other words, pull the rug out from under folks whenever you
can, but quickly give them a new chair to plop into on their way down.
You can draw a missing distinction, question an antiquated assumption,
challenge a strongly-held belief, plant a seed of a different crop, ask
a strong inquiry-type question or give them words to express what they
are barely able to sense. Okay, so that's a lot to learn if the above
communication skills are new to you. But, boy are they fun!
6. Show others how to experience better what they already have.
The point of unhooking yourself from the future and focusing
more on today is made elsewhere in one of the Attraction Principles. But
that principle is the parent of this one -- to show others how to better
use and make more of what they already have, whether it be a problem or
a gift. Most folks are so future oriented that they miss out on the
opportunities staring right at them in the present. Be their eyes and
ears for a minute and help them see the value of what's already all
7. Remind people who they are instead of just complimenting them on
what they've done.
Praise and acknowledgment is nice, but that's a bit like telling
your dog that his tail wags really well. Huh? The idea here is to focus
on the person behind the accomplishment or problem. It's the fundamental
distinction of who vs what. When you help the person get more in touch
with the who (they are), they'll produce better whats. If you focus
primarily on the whats, you'll soon be expecting the tail to wag the
8. Give people something meaningful to do.
I don't understand why, but most people are pretty bored. They
are waiting for something interesting and meaningful to do. It seems
that most people are being drugged by television, thus live in a sort of
an excited stupor, if that's possible. So, if you're someone who is up
something and are willing to include people in on your game or project,
most people will get meaning from that -- from being asked to play, but
also by the game itself and the people they meet along the way. If
working on a project, OPEN IT UP and profoundly affect a lot of other
people. It's a perfect path to attraction.
9. Give people the tools they need to improve and evolve.
The beginning of my evolving to computers happened in 1987 when
the MIS director where I worked said he had an extra copy of Lotus 1-2-3
and asked if I wanted it. I barely knew that I should want it, but I
faked a resounding 'Sure!' That single event changed my life forever and
it took him about 10 seconds. He offered me a tool that, for some
reason, he felt would help me. And it opened up a new world for me even
no longer use Lotus 1-2-3, or even a spreadsheet! What tools do you
currently have available to you that would profoundly affect others?
Share all of them.
10. Don't try to profoundly affect others.
Okay, I had to toss this one in here. The idea is that the
objective here is not to profoundly affect others. Because that'll get
you into trouble, especially when they don't want to be profoundly
affected. "Get away from me!" they'll shriek. You get the picture.
However, what you
can do is to care for others and share the above stuff with those who
That way, 'profoundly affecting' others won't become your cause, banner
or reason for living. That would be pretty unattractive.
God Bless All
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