[MOL] Lillian [00600] Medicine On Line

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[MOL] Lillian

Title: Lillian

Lillian, may I borrow some of your optimism?  It is just so wonderful to have a place where I can actually listen (read) to other people who are experiencing similar things.  It has truly made me feel less isolated and alone.  I don't normally talk to anyone about my Mom because I am sure it makes other people feel bad or weird for me, this is really an ideal place for me to come and vent and listen.  God has blessed me Lillian, with all of you & that is a great thing to come out of such a terrible ordeal.  Someone once said "Out of the worst manure, comes the sweetest roses"  MOL has been my sweet rose.  It forces me to realize that I am not the only one dealing w/ life & death every day.  Not only do other people do it, they do it w/ dignity & grace & hope.  I hope to emulate the example of The show must go on rather than falling apart.  I will not fall apart!!!  Mom is doing ok, not able to sit up for very long periods.  She can get up & go to the restroom but after her bath I do her hair because she can't hold her arms up anymore.  Last night we had a long discussion on what she considers 'quality' of life.  My thoughts were as long as we are able to communicate with each other, then that should be fine!!!  Of course, I am not the one who is having to do all this chemo and pills and throwing up and so on.  It could be so much worse for her.   We did agree on the premise of as long as she is not in alot of pain and in her right mind, she would continue with this chemo.  So far, it hasn't been too horrible & I am grateful for every moment.   I will NOT fall apart.  Thank you Lillian for being so strong,  all of you have been a model on how to react to this stuff.

Much love,