[MOL] Humor! "How to prepare for a mammogram.... [00800] Medicine On Line


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[MOL] Humor! "How to prepare for a mammogram....



>How to Prepare for a Mammogram!
>
>Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to
>worry!
>.By taking a few minutes each day for the week preceding the exam and
>doing
>the following exercises, you will be totally prepared.  And the best of
>all,
>you can do these simple exercises right in the privacy of your own home.
>
>EXERCISE #1
>Freeze two metal bookends overnight.  Strip to the waist.  Invite a
>stranger
>into the room.  Place a bookend on each side of a breast.  Smash the
>bookends
>together as hard as you can.  Make an appointment with the stranger to
>meet in
>one year and do it again.
>
>EXERCISE #2
>Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast between the door and
>the
>main box.  Have one of your strongest friends slam the door shut as hard
>as
>possible and then lean heavily on the door.  Hold that position for five
>seconds.  Repeat in case the first time was not effective.
>
>EXERCISE #3
>Visit your garage a 3 a.m. when the temperature of the concrete floor
>should
>be perfect.  Remove all of your warm clothes and lie comfortably on the
>floor
>with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car.  Have an invited
>stranger slowly back the car until the breast is sufficiently flattened
>and
>chilled. Turn over and repeat the procedure for the other breast.
>
>CONGRATULATIONS!  You are now properly prepared for a mammogram.
>
>
>
>