[MOL] Challanging Cancer Series..... [00771] Medicine On Line


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[MOL] Challanging Cancer Series.....



EMOTIONAL MASTERY

The quality of your health is determined to a large degree by the quality of your communication with yourself.

Nothing in life has any meaning except the meaning we give it. If you say something is true, and you really believe it, then it is true for you.

How we feel and what we do is determined by the meaning we associate with the things that affect our lives.

We are not upset by things, but by how we view them.

Our emotions and our behaviors significantly influence our health, and this certainly includes cancer.

We must take control of the meanings that we associate with cancer — or someone else will.

Whatever you focus on will expand.

The number one thing that stops most people from unleashing their power to beat cancer is their fear of failure.

Adopting the following belief can be helpful: If I committ 100% of myself and make the decision to get well, then no matter what happens, I've already succeeded.

Your success will be measured by your ability to commit 100% of yourself to this action, and to learn something from your experience of having cancer.

Commitment creates power, if you are totally committed.

The two most powerful things that are creating your destiny for health are:

Your Values

Your Beliefs

What you pay attention to and what you focus on is determined by where you place your values.

Your beliefs determine what you are going to do to try to develop these values.

To unleash your power to beat cancer, it is better to focus on what you want than what you don't want or what you are scared of.

If you focus on what you don't want, you are going to get more of it. Whatever you focus on will expand.

If you focus on what you are scared of — for example, that you might not be able to get well — then your fear will heighten, which will increase your level of stress and may further suppress your immune system.

If you believe you can do something or you believe you cannot do it — you're right!

Cancer survivors who have made it — who have beat cancer — share a common belief:

I WILL RECOVER.


HOW DO YOU WANT TO FEEL?

Emotions and cancer are connected. Getting well requires changing the way you feel and expressing your emotions on a regular basis.

Denied hopelessness and despair precede cancer. Repressing emotions over a long period of time is associated with cancer.

Changing hopelessness and despair to hope and excitement about life are essential changes for you to make emotionally.

Changing your patterns of repressing and denying your emotions to effectively feeling and expressing your emotions in healthy ways is necessary in getting well.

Knowing how to feel better consistently is mandatory to your recovery. How do you feel better? How do you feel the way that you would ideally like to feel? The answer is:

You have got to understand how your emotions work...and then develop strategies to practice, strengthen, and expand the range of your desired emotions. But beware, if you have spent a lifetime of being detached from some of your emotions such as pleasure and love, it may feel awkward at first to practice feeling these emotions. Developing healthier beliefs is part of your strategy for developing a healthier emotional life. Some people with cancer have been holding beliefs since childhood that pain and love or pain and pleasure are connected. Changing that sort of belief to one that allows you permission to move toward love and pleasure with a sense of safety is obviously necessary in this process. On the following page is a visual portrayal of how 90-95% of our emotions get activated. That is, the meanings that we give to events in our lives determine most of our emotional responses. So one of the key strategies to emotional mastery lies in the quality of our perceptions about life events.


THE CAUSAL CHAIN OF OUR EMOTIONS

A:
Activating life event/circumstance

B:
Our belief about this life event/circumstance

C:
Our emotional reaction or response

A does not cause C. Therefore, life events don't make me upset. For example, cancer doesn't cause you to be scared.

B causes C. Your belief about A (life event) — the meaning that you give to your circumstances — causes C (your emotional response). For example, your belief that cancer is synonymous with death causes you to feel fear.


EVALUATE YOUR BELIEFS

To evaluate some of your beliefs, use the following criteria.

Superior Beliefs:

  1. Empower you.
  2. Support your health, well-being, and longevity.
  3. Protect your survival.
  4. Test well in reality (factually based).
  5. Give you energy.
  6. Engender more self-love and love for others.
  7. Lead to greater pleasure and less pain, anger, and fear.
  8. Add value to others and to our planet.

How do your beliefs test out?

If you are uncertain as to where to start in analyzing your beliefs, start with your most routine emotional responses that characterize you and work better.

For example...

If I routinely feel sad, then what causes me to be sad?

Answer is:

My beliefs about something in my life ...

An example of a belief that could create sadness might be: "I don't believe that I am loved just for being me."

The next step would be to evaluate this belief using the eight criteria mentioned above.


BELIEF EVALUATION CHECKLIST

Example belief to evaluate:

Belief: I don't believe that I am loved just for being me.

Emotional response: sadness.

To evaluate the relative health value of this belief, ask yourself the following questions. Remember, superior beliefs have at least five of the eight criteria.

Belief Evaluation Checklist:

  1. Does this belief empower me?
  2. Does this belief support my health, well-being, and longevity?
  3. Does this belief protect my ...
    • short-term survival?
      long-term survival?

  4. Does this belief have good reality testing?
  5. Does this belief energize me ?
  6. Does this belief engender my ...
    • a. self-love?
      long-term survival?

  7. Does this belief lead to greater emotional pleasure and less emo-tional pain, anger, and fear?
  8. Does this belief contribute to the welfare of others and the planet?


LIMITING BELIEFS

The purpose of this section is to empower you to add new resources and experiences, and to eliminate limiting beliefs by creating new beliefs that provide greater choice and a wider and more desirable range of emotional states.

A belief is a feeling of certainty about the meaning of something. The way we develop this feeling of certainty of belief is through our experiences.

If you ask yourself questions that cause you to see that there are plenty of examples in your experience that contradict your limiting belief, you will have much greater difficulty maintaining this limiting belief. This can help to make room for new beliefs.

Often, we focus on past experiences that have been associated with pain. It is as if our brains work very hard to understand what causes pain, so that we can avoid it, by reliving painful moments. However, sometimes we find ourselves re-creating emotional pain in the present, and our body does not know the difference between real and imagined pain. We need to change limiting beliefs that are based on old experiences of pain — otherwise we keep creating a sense of dis-ease continually.


HOW TO CHANGE YOUR BELIEFS

Eight Steps

Our beliefs are optional. To activate your healing system, activate healthy beliefs!

  1. Get yourself to question some of your beliefs that may be limiting. (The minute you begin to question something, you begin to doubt it.)
  2. Ask yourself pain-associating questions related to that belief so that you get leverage on yourself to change:
    • How is this belief harmful to my health?
      How is this belief creating emotional pain, anger, fear?
      How is this belief ridiculous or absurd?
      What person taught me this? Where did I get this belief?
      What will it ultimately cost me if I don't let go of this belief?
      What will it cost my family or loved ones?
      How will my entire life — health — be enhanced when I change my belief now?

  3. Evaluate whether some of your beliefs are healthy and empowering or whether they are unhealthy and limiting.
    • Does this belief protect my survival?
      Does this belief help me feel the way I want to feel?
      Does this belief help me accomplish my short- and long-term goals?
      Is this belief based on fact?
      Does this belief promote my relationships?
      Does this belief prompt trust and faith?
      Does this belief support optimal health and energy?
      Does this belief encourage longevity?
      Does this belief strengthen my sense of self-esteem?
      Does this belief enhance my personal success?
      Does this belief reflect my decision to get well?

  4. Transformational vocabulary: if you eliminate a negative word in your vocabulary, you will begin to eliminate negative beliefs and negative experiences.
  5. Change the way you view your personal history. Give better meanings to your past, and you will give different and more optimistic meanings to your future — an empowered belief system for the future — increased hope and faith!
  6. Practice paying attention to what you focus on and what you ignore. The process of framing can help you learn how to change the meanings of situations in life. Pre-framing: tell yourself something to pay attention to in advance, and what it's going to mean. Re-framing: change something that you view as a "problem" to something with a better meaning.
  7. Create new experiences so that you have references for your empow-ered beliefs.
  8. To evaluate and change your beliefs, spend 10% of your time on the limiting belief or emotion and 90% on the solution to changing the pattern.

You are in charge of what you think and feel.

If you do not like how you feel, instead of blaming your parents, spouse, etc., make a decision to identify the limiting belief that is creating the unresourceful emotion and come up with a better belief — and you will feel better!