[MOL] Motherhood???? [00527] Medicine On Line


[Date Prev][Date Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next][Date Index][Thread Index]

[MOL] Motherhood????



+AD4- MOTHERHOOD
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4-
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- A conversation between friends.....
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4-
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- We are sitting at lunch when my friend casually mentions
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- that she and her husband are thinking of +ACI-starting a family.+ACI-
+AD4AIg-We're
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- taking
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- a survey,+ACI- she says, half-joking.  +ACI-Do you
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- think I should have a baby?+ACI-
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4-
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +ACI-It will change your life,+ACI- I say, carefully keeping my
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- tone neutral.
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4-
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +ACI-I know,+ACI- she says, +ACI-no more sleeping in on weekends, no
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- more spontaneous vacations....+ACI-  But that is not what I
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- meant at all.  I look at my friend, trying to decide what
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- to tell her.  I want her to know what she will never learn
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- in childbirth classes.  I want to tell her that the physical
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- wounds of child bearing will heal, but that becoming a
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- she will forever be vulnerable.  I consider warning her
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- that she will never again read a newspaper without asking,
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +ACI-What if that had been MY child?+ACI-  That every plane
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- crash, every house fire will haunt her.  That when she
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- anything could be worse than watching your child die.
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4-
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- protecting her cub.  That an urgent call of +ACI-Mom+ACEAIg- will
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- cause her to drop a souffle or her best crystal without a
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- moment's hesitation.  I feel I should warn her that no
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- matter how many years she has invested in her career, she
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- will be professionally derailed by motherhood.
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4-
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- going into an important business meeting and she will think
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- of her baby's sweet smell.  She will have to use every
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- ounce of her discipline to keep from running home, just to
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- make sure her baby is all right.
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4-
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- I want my friend to know that everyday decisions will
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- no longer be routine.  That a five year old boy's desire
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- to go to the men's room rather than the women's at
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- McDonald's will become a major dilemma.  That right there,
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children,
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- that restroom.
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4-
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- guess herself constantly as a mother.
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4-
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- Looking at my attractive friend, I want to assure her that
+AD4-eventually
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- she
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- will never feel the same about herself.  That her life, now
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- so important, will be of less value to her once she has a
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- child.  That she would give it up in a moment to save her
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years-not to
+AD4-accomplish
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- her
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.  I want her to
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- know
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- that a cesarean scar or shiny
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- stretch marks will become badges of honor.
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4-
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- My friend's relationship with her husband will change, but
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- not in the way she thinks.  I wish she could understand how
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- baby or who never hesitates to play with his child.
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4-
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- I think she should know that she will fall in love with him
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4-
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- I wish my friend could sense the bond she will feel with
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- women throughout history who have tried to stop war,
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- prejudice and drunk driving.  I hope she will understand
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- why I can think rationally about most issues, but become temporarily
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- insane
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- when I discuss the threat of nuclear
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- war to my children's future.  I want to describe to my
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- friend the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- a bike.
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4-
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- is touching the soft fur of a dog or a cat for the first time.
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- I want her to taste the joy that is so real, it actually hurts.
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4-
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- My friend's quizzical look makes me realize that tears
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- have formed in my eyes.  +ACI-You'll never regret it,+ACI- I finally
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- say.  Then I reach across the table, squeeze my friend's
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- hand and offer a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- all of the mere mortal women who stumble their way into
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- this most wonderful of callings.  The blessed gift of God
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- and that of being a Mother.
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4-
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- Please share this with a Mom that you know or a future Mom you know,
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- SEND
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- IT
+AD4- +AD4- +AD4- +AD4- TO SOMEONE THAT YOU LOVE+ACEAIQAh-

------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is an automatically-generated notice.  If you'd like to be removed
from the mailing list, please visit the Medicine-On-Line Discussion Forum
at <http://www.meds.com/con_faq.html>, or send an email message to:
majordomo@lists.meds.com
with the subject line blank and the body of the message containing the line:
unsubscribe mol-cancer your-email-address
where the phrase your-email-address is replaced with your actual email
address.
------------------------------------------------------------------------