> >>>MAKES YOU WONDER HOW THESE PEOPLE CAN SURVIVE !!!!!!
> > >>A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive
> >pulling it out very quickly. When inquired as to what she was doing, she
> said she was shopping on the internet and they asked for a credit card
> number, so she's using the ATM "thingy".
> >I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. "Do you
> need some help?" I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced
> battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do
> think they (pointing to a distant convenient store) would have a battery
> fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm too?" I asked. "No,
> this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As
> took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you
> over there and check about the batteries . . .it's a long walk."
> >Several years ago, we had an intern who was none too swift. One day he
> typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing
> What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told him.
> With that, the intern took his last remaining blank piece of paper, put it
> on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.
> >I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed
> into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and
> the whole thing generally looked like an extra in "Twister". I asked the
> manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise
> control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.
> >IDIOTS AT WORK:
> >Sign in a gas station: Coke -- 49 cents. Two for a dollar.
> >I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk
> noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card.
> informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card
> signed. When asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare
> signature on the credit card with the signature I just signed on the
> eceipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully
> that signature to the one I signed on the receipt. As luck would have it,
> they matched.
> >IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
> >I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the
> township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing
> sign on our road. The reason: Many deer were being hit by cars and he no
> longer wanted them to cross there.
> >IDIOTS & COMPUTERS:
> >My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a
> large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with
> their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the
> banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my
> terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"
> >IDIOTS ARE EASY TO PLEASE:
> >I was sitting in my science class, when the teacher commented that the
> day would be the shortest day of the year.My lab partner became visibly
> excited, cheering and clapping. I explained to her that the amount of
> daylight changes, not the actual amount of time. Needless to say, she was
> very disappointed.
> >IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
> >My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the
> individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry,
> but they only had iceberg.
> >AN IDIOT'S IDIOT:
> >Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal
> colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine.
> The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the
> copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth.
> Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed .
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