Dear Lori and All,
Oh, this is one of those kind of stories
I think I never mention because he still does embarrass me, I guess, and
because he is such a zero sum game. I have to laugh, talking about
him. I spent a lot of my youth crying about things he said and
yelling at him..so I specially have to laugh now that I
am...grown-up...sort of.
Dad lives in a condo, which has a
majority of seniors. They have programs there. He has tried
to go to some...but just hasn't made friends like he wants to. It
has been 8 years since my mom died..he is definitely been looking for a
companion.
One time, Tony went up to visit his
folks with Jeff and I stayed home and went to a picnic the condo was
sponsoring with my dad. He saw a lady he thought was pretty.
So he goes and stands next to her...everyone was watching people play
bocci ball. My dad had a camera in his hands. As soon as she
turned his way, he flashed the camera in her face. Smooth,
huh???? Later I think he saw her somewhere around the condo.
He said she started screaming "you're crazy, you're crazy" and
high tailed it in the opposite direction. That really hurt all his
little feelings.
He keeps telling us; forever it seems,
that he is going to move back to Long Island or one of a couple of other
places. It's like a merry-go-round. The last few times, we
were really hoping...but he won't go.
We are the only three people, i.e., me,
my son and my husband; with whom he knows he can be himself and be
accepted.
Lori, I loved your story about your
father too. If only my father had done something like your's did
for charities. He thinks a lot more about people doing things for
himself.
His style, you probably already have
feel for. But if you're not sure, I'll tell you another
story. He discovered that someone he used to work with, but didn't
know too well, lives near here. He took Tony by to meet this
man. When the man came out, my dad started yelling to him things
like..."how come you never call me up...how come I always have to
call you up first"...etc.
My father has done a lot for me and my
family. He helped us buy our house. He has helped us on
several occasions to pay doctor bills. But, if you can imagine, he
does it with such bad grace as to almost lose the credit for the good he
does.
He was not always the man he is
today. The seeds were there...As I describe it to others who know
him but don't see him anymore, (people I occasionally talk to)...this
includes the complete list of friends and relatives of his and my
mom....my father has been standing, for a while on the cusp of serious
tutti-fruitism. All we can do is watch, wonder and try to catch
him if he falls.
I have almost given up giving
advice. I mean, I still do, but I know that the chances that he
will heed it are slim to none.
I have something positive, I guess I can
tell you. If you pick up Centrum Vitamins, my dad wrote that line
about them having all the vitamins you need from A to Zinc. He was
a very successful copywriter...but never got into the big bucks of
TV. When he was younger, he worked for Bell and Howell out in
Chicago. That's were he started his collection of cameras!
He's got some nice old ones! Sometime around there in Chicago, I
was born. Then when he got back to NY, he got into medical
advertising.
He got so many awards. He could
have really been a primo successful guy if he didn't have such a big
mouth. He never appreciated any of his awards. You see, he
wanted to be the next Ernest Hemmingway...But that's another story and
one that I can't think of that many jokes about right
now.
Love and Hugs to you all,
Martha
