Re: [MOL] My Dad [00557] Medicine On Line


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Re: [MOL] My Dad



Dear Lori,
 
No, he never was a big drinker.  His main fault, one, I think, long overlooked by the self-help groups, is pestiness.  And my Dad, when he was younger, used to study opera.  He never could have made it there.  Also he took up cigarette smoking...let's see know...from roughly 20 to current age, 77.  But still, over the years, and even today, he has had what Jackie Gleason would call a BIG MOUTH.  And so, he does present an extreme case of pestiness.
 
"Socially delayed"...I love that Lori...I am still giggling.
 
Love and Hugs to you and Tom,
 
Martha
-----Original Message-----
From: Lori and Tom Anderson-Finwall <ltaaf@ix.netcom.com>
To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com <mol-cancer@lists.meds.com>
Date: Thursday, August 12, 1999 9:04 PM
Subject: Re: [MOL] My Dad

yea I can relate. Perhaps in ND they tolerate a lot less social graces. After all there are so few people there that are not family! LOL Did he ever Drink to much? My dad found some great friends in AA. They were all social delayed there. Lori
-----Original Message-----
From: martha cerreto <home3@worldnet.att.net>
To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com <mol-cancer@lists.meds.com>
Cc: home3@worldnet.att.net <home3@worldnet.att.net>
Date: Thursday, August 12, 1999 10:45 PM
Subject: [MOL] My Dad

Dear Lori and All,
 
Oh, this is one of those kind of stories I think I never mention because he still does embarrass me, I guess, and because he is such a zero sum game.  I have to laugh, talking about him.  I spent a lot of my youth crying about things he said and yelling at him..so I specially have to laugh now that I am...grown-up...sort of.
 
Dad lives in a condo, which has a majority of seniors.  They have programs there.  He has tried to go to some...but just hasn't made friends like he wants to.  It has been 8 years since my mom died..he is definitely been looking for a companion.
 
One time, Tony went up to visit his folks with Jeff and I stayed home and went to a picnic the condo was sponsoring with my dad.  He saw a lady he thought was pretty.  So he goes and stands next to her...everyone was watching people play bocci ball.  My dad had a camera in his hands.  As soon as she turned his way, he flashed the camera in her face.  Smooth, huh????  Later I think he saw her somewhere around the condo.  He said she started screaming "you're crazy, you're crazy" and high tailed it in the opposite direction.  That really hurt all his little feelings.
 
He keeps telling us; forever it seems, that he is going to move back to Long Island or one of a couple of other places.  It's like a merry-go-round.  The last few times, we were really hoping...but he won't go. 
 
We are the only three people, i.e., me, my son and my husband; with whom he knows he can be himself and be accepted.
 
Lori, I loved your story about your father too.  If only my father had done something like your's did for charities.  He thinks a lot more about people doing things for himself.  
 
His style, you probably already have feel for.  But if you're not sure, I'll tell you another story.  He discovered that someone he used to work with, but didn't know too well, lives near here.  He took Tony by to meet this man.  When the man came out, my dad started yelling to him things like..."how come you never call me up...how come I always have to call you up first"...etc.
 
My father has done a lot for me and my family.  He helped us buy our house.  He has helped us on several occasions to pay doctor bills.  But, if you can imagine, he does it with such bad grace as to almost lose the credit for the good he does.
 
He was not always the man he is today.  The seeds were there...As I describe it to others who know him but don't see him anymore, (people I occasionally talk to)...this includes the complete list of friends and relatives of his and my mom....my father has been standing, for a while on the cusp of serious tutti-fruitism.  All we can do is watch, wonder and try to catch him if he falls.
 
I have almost given up giving advice.  I mean, I still do, but I know that the chances that he will heed it are slim to none.
 
I have something positive, I guess I can tell you.  If you pick up Centrum Vitamins, my dad wrote that line about them having all the vitamins you need from A to Zinc.  He was a very successful copywriter...but never got into the big bucks of TV.  When he was younger, he worked for Bell and Howell out in Chicago.  That's were he started his collection of cameras!  He's got some nice old ones!  Sometime around there in Chicago, I was born.  Then when he got back to NY, he got into medical advertising.
 
He got so many awards.  He could have really been a primo successful guy if he didn't have such a big mouth.  He never appreciated any of his awards.  You see, he wanted to be the next Ernest Hemmingway...But that's another story and one that I can't think of that many jokes about right now.  
 
Love and Hugs to you all,
 
Martha