Dear Lori and All,
Oh, this is one of those kind of stories I
think I never mention because he still does embarrass me, I guess, and
because he is such a zero sum game. I have to laugh, talking about
him. I spent a lot of my youth crying about things he said and yelling
at him..so I specially have to laugh now that I am...grown-up...sort
of.
Dad lives in a condo, which has a majority
of seniors. They have programs there. He has tried to go to
some...but just hasn't made friends like he wants to. It has been 8
years since my mom died..he is definitely been looking for a
companion.
One time, Tony went up to visit his folks
with Jeff and I stayed home and went to a picnic the condo was sponsoring
with my dad. He saw a lady he thought was pretty. So he goes and
stands next to her...everyone was watching people play bocci ball. My
dad had a camera in his hands. As soon as she turned his way, he
flashed the camera in her face. Smooth, huh???? Later I think he
saw her somewhere around the condo. He said she started screaming
"you're crazy, you're crazy" and high tailed it in the opposite
direction. That really hurt all his little feelings.
He keeps telling us; forever it seems, that
he is going to move back to Long Island or one of a couple of other
places. It's like a merry-go-round. The last few times, we were
really hoping...but he won't go.
We are the only three people, i.e., me, my
son and my husband; with whom he knows he can be himself and be
accepted.
Lori, I loved your story about your father
too. If only my father had done something like your's did for
charities. He thinks a lot more about people doing things for
himself.
His style, you probably already have feel
for. But if you're not sure, I'll tell you another story. He
discovered that someone he used to work with, but didn't know too well,
lives near here. He took Tony by to meet this man. When the man
came out, my dad started yelling to him things like..."how come you
never call me up...how come I always have to call you up
first"...etc.
My father has done a lot for me and my
family. He helped us buy our house. He has helped us on several
occasions to pay doctor bills. But, if you can imagine, he does it
with such bad grace as to almost lose the credit for the good he
does.
He was not always the man he is today.
The seeds were there...As I describe it to others who know him but don't see
him anymore, (people I occasionally talk to)...this includes the complete
list of friends and relatives of his and my mom....my father has been
standing, for a while on the cusp of serious tutti-fruitism. All we
can do is watch, wonder and try to catch him if he falls.
I have almost given up giving advice.
I mean, I still do, but I know that the chances that he will heed it are
slim to none.
I have something positive, I guess I can
tell you. If you pick up Centrum Vitamins, my dad wrote that line
about them having all the vitamins you need from A to Zinc. He was a
very successful copywriter...but never got into the big bucks of TV.
When he was younger, he worked for Bell and Howell out in Chicago.
That's were he started his collection of cameras! He's got some nice
old ones! Sometime around there in Chicago, I was born. Then
when he got back to NY, he got into medical advertising.
He got so many awards. He could have
really been a primo successful guy if he didn't have such a big mouth.
He never appreciated any of his awards. You see, he wanted to be the
next Ernest Hemmingway...But that's another story and one that I can't think
of that many jokes about right now.
Love and Hugs to you all,
Martha
