Re: [MOL] Anger [00526] Medicine On Line

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Re: [MOL] Anger

Dear Lori,
I was just scanning all the messages as I am in a rush and looking for a
work related e mail when I read the first three lines of yours and had a
good laugh. You see my dad could be the third, a threesome. He just told
me the other day that I am FAT!!!!!! Not to get too personal here I wear
a size four to a six. I could go on and on but then I would just upset
myself and be late to pick my son up from camp. Thank you for the laugh.

> Lori and Tom Anderson-Finwall wrote:
> boy are dad could have been best friends. My dad would look and all
> the fat people in the he restaurant and say loudly ( he was deaf) look
> at that fat lady eat. Considering dad was over 200 lb. it was very
> ironic. He once asked the Mexican owner of a restaurant if they had
> turkey for thanks giving. He call my neighborhood children
> pickninnies, they were black and had thier hair braided. I lived in
> one of the tough inner city neighborhood of Minneapolis at the time.
> He would belch and fart loudly in public and never know it. Lord know
> it must have been his sincerity and his sense of humor that help him
> get as far as he did working with charities and selling houses.
> Dad was a terrible driver God forbid he taught my brother and I how to
> drive also. Dad would ride the brake and look for chicks. The was a
> butt and Breast man from what I could tell. He would turn around in
> his seat just to get a good look. The car would swerve in to the on
> coming lane and we would haller dad!  he would say I just wanted to
> see if I knew that lady. For all I knew dad knew the back side of
> every woman in North Dakota and Minnesota. We grew up vomiting up in
> the back seat of the car because of dads driving. One of his friends
> said to us when dad was in the hospital that he thought dad should
> give up driving. My uncle and brother and I said dad has always been a
> bad driver What was new about that. Dad took my brother out on his
> first date with a girl to a movie. He side swiped a parked car with
> his 57 chevy. Dana never got to go out with that girl again. Dad had
> not had a drink yet that day.
> I just keep in mind that my dad was not me. If he farts and clears the
> room without knowing it. He did it not me. I just loved him and had
> some good fight with him about what he did and did not understand
> about social skills. I would give any thing to be able to have a fight
> with him know. It is hard to live with your parent growing old. try to
> get him connected with a senior group even if you have to take him
> there till he make a connection. It will give him more people to bug.
> TAke care Love Lori
>      -----Original Message-----
>      From: martha cerreto <>
>      To: <>
>      Cc: <>
>      Date: Thursday, August 12, 1999 1:25 AM
>      Subject: [MOL] Anger
>      Dear Nanc:
>      As I think I mentioned, my mom passed away.  My dad is still
>      alive.  He lives in a condo, about a mile away.  He takes
>      care of himself...sort of.  I don't know what to do with
>      him.  He calls my husband at work....sometimes 3-4 times a
>      day.   He calls to tell him stuff like, "so, how come you go
>      to so many meetings...what do you do in those meetings."
>      On the weekends, he drops over all the time.   He ogles my
>      nextdoor neighbor, who I don't particularly like.  Tony, my
>      husband, has told him, sometimes to shut up, but he doesn't
>      listen and goes on saying disgusting things.  He will call,
>      on the weekend, if he's not over and be aggravated if we
>      don't tell him every move we make...out to the store (what
>      store?)...when back from the store, etc.
>      The other day he was over.  He jiggled the fat on my upper
>      arm and then complained why I don't invite him over to
>      dinner more often.
>      When he calls and asks where we went, I always have this
>      urge to say we were at this fantastic party.  There were
>      people there our age and your age.  We thought of inviting
>      you, but purposefully decided not to do it.
>      He has cataracts...I think one eye is much worse than the
>      other.  He has told me that in his last visit to the eye
>      doctor he was told that in his bad eye, his vision had
>      declined to the point where he would not pass a motor
>      vehicle test.  Needless to say, we have been encouraging him
>      to get the surgery.  He always comes up with excuses...I
>      think he is just basically scared.
>      I have thought what to do about this.  I even called the
>      police, without giving my name and asked their advice.  The
>      fellow I talked to didn't seem like he ever had someone call
>      and ask him what to do in this sort of situation.  He said
>      that the police would refer him to Motor Vehicles.  I
>      haven't done anything.  I'm sort of scared.  I think he
>      would know it was me and would be so mad.
>      I do admire you Nanc, and so many caretakers I've met and
>      wrote to on this list for all you do.  Also, I know that the
>      most likely person to need caretaking in my life, i.e., my
>      father, I could never take care of.  Tony and I don't know
>      what exactly would happen if he becomes unable to take care
>      of himself...although I guess he would be in a nursing home,
>      pinching the nurses and in general, making a reputation for
>      himself as the biggest pain in the butt in the facility.
>      I don't know why I'm telling you all this stuff...Maybe I
>      just had to get it off my chest.  I know my antidepressant
>      helps a lot.  Xanax is addictive, I think...maybe Paxil or
>      Zoloft.  But don't listen to to a good
>      psychiatrist.
>      Depression does run in my family...well on one side.  Have
>      you guessed which side...?  It's not my mother's.   It helps
>      me to be more calm and not to worry so much...That's all.
>      No zombie stuff.  Also, I think it helps me see things more
>      practically.  Sometimes it drives my husband crazy when
>      we're having an argument, because I'm always right.  YEAH,
>      ME!!!!!!!!!!!!(arm pump)
>      I hope that'll help  Don.  I think you said that your son is
>      coming to live with you...maybe I heard wrong...I don't
>      know.  But the other thing it sounds like you may need is
>      somebody that can get between you and Don on occasion.
>      Please take care of yourself because we love you very much.
>      Your daughter,
>      Martha
>      P.S.:  With my antidepressant, (Paxil), which helps me not
>      worry so much about cancer, I also am freed up to experience
>      much more deeply, prayer, meditation, and positive
>      visualization about things like staying
>      well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>      P.P.S.:  I'm not sure, but I think I sent you a genuine
>      Allen Sherman tape...he was the guy that wrote and sang that
>      song about Camp know, "Hello Mudda...Hello
>      Fadda...etc., etc.  I hope you listen least
>      maybe it'll make you smile.
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