Dear Lori,
I was just scanning all the messages as I am in a rush and looking for a
work related e mail when I read the first three lines of yours and had a
good laugh. You see my dad could be the third, a threesome. He just told
me the other day that I am FAT!!!!!! Not to get too personal here I wear
a size four to a six. I could go on and on but then I would just upset
myself and be late to pick my son up from camp. Thank you for the laugh.
Debby
> Lori and Tom Anderson-Finwall wrote:
>
> boy are dad could have been best friends. My dad would look and all
> the fat people in the he restaurant and say loudly ( he was deaf) look
> at that fat lady eat. Considering dad was over 200 lb. it was very
> ironic. He once asked the Mexican owner of a restaurant if they had
> turkey for thanks giving. He call my neighborhood children
> pickninnies, they were black and had thier hair braided. I lived in
> one of the tough inner city neighborhood of Minneapolis at the time.
> He would belch and fart loudly in public and never know it. Lord know
> it must have been his sincerity and his sense of humor that help him
> get as far as he did working with charities and selling houses.
>
> Dad was a terrible driver God forbid he taught my brother and I how to
> drive also. Dad would ride the brake and look for chicks. The was a
> butt and Breast man from what I could tell. He would turn around in
> his seat just to get a good look. The car would swerve in to the on
> coming lane and we would haller dad! he would say I just wanted to
> see if I knew that lady. For all I knew dad knew the back side of
> every woman in North Dakota and Minnesota. We grew up vomiting up in
> the back seat of the car because of dads driving. One of his friends
> said to us when dad was in the hospital that he thought dad should
> give up driving. My uncle and brother and I said dad has always been a
> bad driver What was new about that. Dad took my brother out on his
> first date with a girl to a movie. He side swiped a parked car with
> his 57 chevy. Dana never got to go out with that girl again. Dad had
> not had a drink yet that day.
>
> I just keep in mind that my dad was not me. If he farts and clears the
> room without knowing it. He did it not me. I just loved him and had
> some good fight with him about what he did and did not understand
> about social skills. I would give any thing to be able to have a fight
> with him know. It is hard to live with your parent growing old. try to
> get him connected with a senior group even if you have to take him
> there till he make a connection. It will give him more people to bug.
>
> TAke care Love Lori
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: martha cerreto <home3@worldnet.att.net>
> To: mol-cancer@lists.meds.com <mol-cancer@lists.meds.com>
> Cc: home3@worldnet.att.net <home3@worldnet.att.net>
> Date: Thursday, August 12, 1999 1:25 AM
> Subject: [MOL] Anger
>
> Dear Nanc:
>
> As I think I mentioned, my mom passed away. My dad is still
> alive. He lives in a condo, about a mile away. He takes
> care of himself...sort of. I don't know what to do with
> him. He calls my husband at work....sometimes 3-4 times a
> day. He calls to tell him stuff like, "so, how come you go
> to so many meetings...what do you do in those meetings."
>
> On the weekends, he drops over all the time. He ogles my
> nextdoor neighbor, who I don't particularly like. Tony, my
> husband, has told him, sometimes to shut up, but he doesn't
> listen and goes on saying disgusting things. He will call,
> on the weekend, if he's not over and be aggravated if we
> don't tell him every move we make...out to the store (what
> store?)...when back from the store, etc.
>
> The other day he was over. He jiggled the fat on my upper
> arm and then complained why I don't invite him over to
> dinner more often.
>
> When he calls and asks where we went, I always have this
> urge to say we were at this fantastic party. There were
> people there our age and your age. We thought of inviting
> you, but purposefully decided not to do it.
>
> He has cataracts...I think one eye is much worse than the
> other. He has told me that in his last visit to the eye
> doctor he was told that in his bad eye, his vision had
> declined to the point where he would not pass a motor
> vehicle test. Needless to say, we have been encouraging him
> to get the surgery. He always comes up with excuses...I
> think he is just basically scared.
>
> I have thought what to do about this. I even called the
> police, without giving my name and asked their advice. The
> fellow I talked to didn't seem like he ever had someone call
> and ask him what to do in this sort of situation. He said
> that the police would refer him to Motor Vehicles. I
> haven't done anything. I'm sort of scared. I think he
> would know it was me and would be so mad.
>
> I do admire you Nanc, and so many caretakers I've met and
> wrote to on this list for all you do. Also, I know that the
> most likely person to need caretaking in my life, i.e., my
> father, I could never take care of. Tony and I don't know
> what exactly would happen if he becomes unable to take care
> of himself...although I guess he would be in a nursing home,
> pinching the nurses and in general, making a reputation for
> himself as the biggest pain in the butt in the facility.
>
> I don't know why I'm telling you all this stuff...Maybe I
> just had to get it off my chest. I know my antidepressant
> helps a lot. Xanax is addictive, I think...maybe Paxil or
> Zoloft. But don't listen to me...talk to a good
> psychiatrist.
>
> Depression does run in my family...well on one side. Have
> you guessed which side...? It's not my mother's. It helps
> me to be more calm and not to worry so much...That's all.
> No zombie stuff. Also, I think it helps me see things more
> practically. Sometimes it drives my husband crazy when
> we're having an argument, because I'm always right. YEAH,
> ME!!!!!!!!!!!!(arm pump)
>
> I hope that'll help Don. I think you said that your son is
> coming to live with you...maybe I heard wrong...I don't
> know. But the other thing it sounds like you may need is
> somebody that can get between you and Don on occasion.
>
> Please take care of yourself because we love you very much.
>
> Your daughter,
>
> Martha
>
> P.S.: With my antidepressant, (Paxil), which helps me not
> worry so much about cancer, I also am freed up to experience
> much more deeply, prayer, meditation, and positive
> visualization about things like staying
> well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>
> P.P.S.: I'm not sure, but I think I sent you a genuine
> Allen Sherman tape...he was the guy that wrote and sang that
> song about Camp Grenada...you know, "Hello Mudda...Hello
> Fadda...etc., etc. I hope you listen tomorrow...at least
> maybe it'll make you smile.
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