By now I'm sure that you
have heard all the Redneck jokes. Now here are some takes on how
Southern folks look at their Northern cousins:
YOU JUST MIGHT BE A YANKEE
IF:
1. You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook
outside." 2. You think Heinz Ketchup is really SPICY! 3. You don't
have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire
sauce" correctly. 4. For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes au
gratin to grits. 5. You don't know what a moon pie is. 6. You've never had
an RC cola. 7. You've never, ever, eaten okra, fried or boiled. 8. You eat
fried chicken with a knife and fork. 9. You've never seen a live chicken, and
the only cows you've seen are on road trips. 10.You have no idea what a
polecat is. 11.You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on
a poodle. 12.You don't have bangs. 13.You would rather vacation at
Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags. 14.More than two generations of your
family have been kicked out of the same prep school in Connecticut. 15.You
would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV
fishing show. 16.Instead of referring to two or more people as
"y'all," you call them "you guys," even if both of them
are women. 17.You don't think Ted Kennedy has an accent. 18.You have never
planned your summer vacation around a gun-n-knife show. 19.You think more
money should go to important scientific research at your university than to
pay the salary of the head football coach. 20.You don't have at least one
can of WD-40 somewhere around the house. 21.The last time you smiled was
when you prevented someone from getting on an on-ramp to the
highway. 22.You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise
feed stores. 23.The farthest south you've ever been is the perfume counter
at Neiman Marcus. 24.You call binoculars opera glasses. 25.You can't
spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and
stopping. 26.You would never wear pink or an applique sweatshirt. 27.You
don't know what applique is. 28.You don't know anyone with at least two first
names (i.e., Joe Bob, Faye Ellen, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean, Joe Dan,
Mary Alice, et al). 29.You don't have doilies, and you certainly don't
know how to make one. 30.You've never been to a craft show. 31.You get
freaked out when people on the subway talk to you. 32.You can do your laundry
without quarters. > 33.None of your fur coats are
homemade.
