[MOL] FW: [Humor]: Help for Internet Addiction [00782] Medicine On Line


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[MOL] FW: [Humor]: Help for Internet Addiction



New oldie, Jeanne

> Subject:	[Humor]: Help for Internet Addiction
> 
> Help for Internet Addiction
> ===========================
> 
> Hello.
> 
> Yes, you. You, looking at this screen for hours on end, online.
> You, bleary eyed. You, an addict. Have you looked in the mirror
> lately? Been outside? Know what day of the week it is?
> 
> Your name was given to us by a spouse or family member who is
> concerned about your internet addiction. At Internetaholics
> Anonymous, we can help.
> 
> We're a non-profit society of recovering addicts like yourself
> that provides support and counseling through weekly meetings
> designed to help you cope with your problem.
> 
> We feature a twelve step recovery program and in extreme cases,
> interventions. Although it is our firm belief that you are never
> "cured," you most certainly can recover.
> 
> We have designed a brief checklist to determine if you are an
> addict. Do you:
>     1) Have twitches of the hand when you walk by your terminal?
>     2) Check e-mail more than five times a day?
>     3) Spend more time chatting than eating or sleeping?
>     4) Surf aimlessly with no direction, if only to be online?
>     5) Leave your name and information at countless sites if only
>        to hope you'll receive a reply one day from a company
>        you'll never do business with anyway?
>     6) Log on before important personal habits, such as meal
>        preparation, hygiene or bodily functions?
>     7) Have red, swollen eyes that hang halfway out of your head?
>     8) Spend hours online on a holiday from work, where you'd
>        usually be griping about your carpal tunnel syndrome?
>     9) See smoke arising from your computer or WebTV box?
>    10) All of the above?
> 
> If you answered yes to four or more questions (or chose #10), you
> have a problem. Please call us at Internetaholics Anonymous at:
>             1-800-LOGOFFNOWFORPETE'SSAKE.
> 
> We're here, we're free, and we're confidential.
> The first step to recovery is admission that you have a problem.
> 
> Call us today.
> If you can power off to free up your phone line,that is.
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