[MOL] Fwd: [teflfarmenglish] Headlines enlisted [00776] Medicine On Line


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[MOL] Fwd: [teflfarmenglish] Headlines enlisted



Hi all,
I am on a list of "Teachers of English as a Foreign Language" I 
received the following today and I thought you all might find it 
amusing.
Liz


>From: "Don and/or Jess" <dward@fc91.worldnet.fr>
>To: <teflfarmenglish@onelist.com>
>Date: Wed, 21 Jul 1999 13:03:06 +0100
>X-Priority: 3
>Mailing-List: list teflfarmenglish@onelist.com; contact 
>teflfarmenglish-owner@onelist.com
>Delivered-To: mailing list teflfarmenglish@onelist.com
>List-Unsubscribe: <mailto:teflfarmenglish-unsubscribe@ONElist.com>
>Reply-to: teflfarmenglish@onelist.com
>Subject: [teflfarmenglish] Headlines enlisted
>
>From: "Don and/or Jess" <dward@fc91.worldnet.fr>
>
>Headlines have to be short, summing up the story in a nutshell. They 
>are written by tired overworked journalists who don't realise what 
>hilarious gems they are producing (or do they?). Often the humour 
>comes from a word which can be a noun or a verb e.g. 'waffles' in 
>#9.  Some words have more than one meaning e.g. 'case' in # 4. 
>Sometimes the headline is simply stating the obvious e.g. #2.
>Don't worry you non-native teachers if you don't get all of them, I 
>am sure there are lots of native speakers who don't either. Write to 
>the list if you don't get any and someone will explain.
>I think #14 is cute!
>And all you tired busy teacher/mothers out there, don't forget #22 
>when you fell a little peckish.
>
>Hey, did you know I've been up for ages, since about 6am.
>Don (found lying in bed)
>
>   
>    Best Headlines of the Year
>   
>    1. Include Your Children When Baking Cookies
>   
>    2. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say
>   
>    3. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
>   
>    4. Drunks Get Nine Months in Violin Case
>   
>    5. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
>   
>    6. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
>   
>    7. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
>   
>    8. British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
>   
>    9. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
>   
>    10. Clinton Wins Budget; More Lies Ahead
>   
>    11. Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
>   
>    12. Miners Refuse to Work After Death
>   
>    13. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
>   
>    14. Stolen Painting Found by Tree
>   
>    15. Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
>   
>    16. War Dims Hope for Peace
>   
>    17. If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
>   
>    18. Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
>   
>    19. Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
>   
>    20. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
>   
>    21. Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Space
>   
>    22. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
>   
>    23. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
>   
>    24. Typhoon Rips through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
>   
>   
>    ----------------===={ Tom's Humor List }====----------------
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>
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Liz Patterson
2115 Summitview Ave.
Yakima, WA 98902
(509) 576-4213
********************************************************************** 
**********
For Patterson's YVCC on site and distance learning English classes 
for summer, 1999) http://users.ewa.net/patter/Eng101_102/home.html
MAC users needing help visit: http://users.ewa.net/patter/Macs.html
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