Re: [MOL] Re: [GCFL] Texas Joke [01505] Medicine On Line


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Re: [MOL] Re: [GCFL] Texas Joke



Dear Lil,

Thanks for these jokes.  I've never been to Texas, although it seems, from
being on the web to have a lot of nice people.  Maybe they're the ones that
started all these jokes.

I especially liked that one about being cooked to death.

It's all a keeper.

Your friend,

Martha
-----Original Message-----
From: Lillian <firefly@islc.net>
To: mol-cancer <mol-cancer@lists.meds.com>
Date: Wednesday, June 23, 1999 3:07 PM
Subject: [MOL] Re: [GCFL] Texas Joke


>
>
>
>> "It's So Hot In Texas That......"
>> >
>> >*The birds have to use pot holders to pull worms out of the ground.
>> >
>> >*The potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do to have lunch
>> >is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
>> >
>> >*Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from
>> >laying hard boiled eggs.
>> >
>> >=================================
>> >
>> >"It's So Dry In Texas That..."
>> >
>> >*The cows are giving evaporated milk.
>> >
>> >*The trees are whistling for the dogs.
>> >
>> >*A sad Texan once prayed, "I wish it would rain - not so much for me,
>> >cuz I've seen it - but for my 7-year-old."
>> >
>> >*A visitor to Texas once asked, "Does it ever rain out here?"  A
>> >rancher quickly answered "Yes, it does. Do you remember that part in
>> >the Bible where it rained for 40 days and 40 nights?" The visitor
>> >replied,  "Yes, I'm familiar with Noah's flood."  "Well," the rancher
>> >puffed up, we got about two and a half inches of that."
>> >
>> >======================================
>> >
>> >"You Know You're In Texas When..."
>> >
>> >*You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
>> >
>> >*You can say 110 degrees without fainting.
>> >
>> >*You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.
>> >
>> >*You can make instant sun tea.
>> >
>> >*You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
>> >
>> >*The temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.
>> >
>> >*You discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your
>> >car.
>> >
>> >*You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.
>> >
>> >*You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of
>> >distance.
>> >
>> >*Hot water now comes out of both taps.
>> >
>> >*It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person
>> >is out on the streets.
>> >
>> >*You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
>> >
>> >*You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. before
>> >work.
>> >
>> >*No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not
>> >having air conditioning.
>> >
>> >*Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and
>> >end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
>> >
>> >*You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
>
>
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