Re: [MOL] Progression of breast cancer: TO CORI [01401] Medicine On Line


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Re: [MOL] Progression of breast cancer: TO CORI



Dear Roberta - it is quite normal that you feel as you do - believe me, we are
all not super brave and I know you can be as brave as any one of us.  We have all
faced stages of denial, anger, grief, acceptance etc. at different times during
our journey - that too is most normal, and if you attended a support group, you
would realize that very quickly too.
I hope you do not give up - now or never....it's not that people are
uncomfortable giving you a time frame, it's just that statistics are just that,
statistic, and each person's cancer is so different, it would be misleading and
very counter-productive to set a time frame of any sort.  Even doctors who do
this regularly, and almost play like they are God, DO NOT KNOW and certainly do
no favor to a patient when they set a time limit...it is so self-limiting, and
many times so incredibly discouraging to a patient, that they literally almost go
home and start marking off the days on a calendar - doing just what the doctor
told them to do.  This is not right, and I'm sure you'll find many survivors on
this forum stressing this to you.  I myself was told there was nothing that could
be done for me - that I could "go home and wait to die" - and that is a quote. I
was given less than 6 months to live - well over 2 years ago.  If you look at my
picture in the Mol album, enjoying a wonderful quality of life,  fit, tanned and
healthy looking (and feeling) you'd believe what I am trying to convey to you.
Only God knows when we are going to die.  In the meantime, it is essential that
you believe in life, that you search for all options out there that are available
to help you - including alternative and complimentary medicine if that "feels"
right to you.  The key issue here is becoming your own advocate, not being
passive but pursuing options with conviction and determination.  There's a big
difference in the statements "I do not want to die"  versus "I want to live, and
have much to live for"...and if you yourself don't feel up to it physically to do
lots of research, etc. maybe a friend or family member can help you with some of
the more practical aspects in your quest for wellness.  I cannot emphasize enough
that it sounds like you could use an excellent cancer support group.  Your local
American Cancer Society or Church or United Way could probably put you in touch
with both a group as well as probably a survivor who has experienced your same
type of cancer.  Dear new friend, hope springs eternal.  As gently as I am able,
and trying to be as sensitive to what you are going through as I can,
understanding as a cancer patient myself that this is not always easy, in fact,
it is most challenging, and we are not always brave either, seek help - it is
there.  Conventional, alternative, no matter.  And don't count future days...live
today to the fullest and enjoy life for the wonderful gift it is - remember
there's a reason it's called a present.....Take heart, take heed, keep the faith,
stay strong and keep believing....and remember we are here for you - this forum
has many resources and many wonderful people all anxious to help you.  That is
what we are here for.  Good luck.  Cori.

BERTS1041@AOL.COM wrote:

> Dear Cori,
>   Thanks for responding.  I do appreciate the time and thought that you put
> into your message.
>   I'm sorry that you got the impression that I'd given up.  I haven't.  I'm
> just not as brave as you all seem to be, and have opted to NOT seek surgery,
> or chemotherapy, or any other conventional means of fighting this.
>   I know that this sounds silly, but initially, I tried to "will" it away.
> By the time I realized that wasn't working, it had progressed to the point
> where I now feel it's too late to try the above methods.  Besides, from what
> I understand, the particular type that I have is rare.  It's especially
> aggressive and does not respond to treatment.  So, I'm sort of between a rock
> and a hard place!  :)
>   I believe in God and am trusting Him, either way, but I'm certainly not
> giving up just yet.
>   So, if you know of any promising alternative medicine, please let me know.
> Also, I really WOULD like to have some sort of time frame, just to ease my
> mind, but if no one is comfortable with that, I understand.  I would just
> like to know, if my alternative methods DON'T WORK, what I can expect.
>   Well, thanks again.
>   Also, I've been reading some of the messages, and I'm VERY happy for you,
> Cori.  It must be so nice to wake up from this nightmare.  God Bless You.
>   Roberta
>
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